July 27, 2012

Step One to Prepare Yourself for Your Next Phase of Leadership: Soul Assignment Accepted

Ever now and then my worlds collide. This week I have been working on what I am calling my Soul Assignment Accepted: Studying Women Leaders so that I may be a more effective leader.

Today at BloggyMoms Blog Dare we were to being our blog posts with...

Let me ask you this: so naturally my mind went immediately to leadership.Whether you are prepared or not, I need to ask you this: what are you doing right now to prepare yourself to be a better leader?

You might think, “I am not a leader, I am a stay-at-home-Mom (or) I am a clerk-typist (or) I work part time at a movie theater as I am going to school.”

Try this on: We are ALL leaders, some of us just don’t know it yet.

Every time you are out in public or choose to live the life of a hermit at home, your actions are speaking and people are watching. They might not have a telescope or a microscope watching your every move and they might not be taking notes, but someone is witnessing what you do and what you don’t do and to them, it speaks volumes both about you and the life you lead.

Did you read that:

“It speaks volumes both about you and the life you lead.”

You might have thought before you started reading today that what you did or didn’t do didn’t matter, it didn’t make a difference, it doesn’t impact others but I am here to remind you it does.

Merriam Webster defines a leader like this: a person who leads: as a : guide, conductor b (1) : a person who directs a military force or unit (2) : a person who has commanding authority or influence c (1) : the principal officer of a British political party (2) : a party member chosen to manage party activities in a legislative body (3) : such a party member presiding over the whole legislative body when the party constitutes a majority d (1) : conductor c (2) : a first or principal performer of a group

Congratulations – you are the guide, the conductor, the person directing your life force. You are the commander of influence over your life and also its principal officer. You have been chosen to manage your life activities and preside over its whole legislative body!

WOW! You are the principal performer of your life, not the person who did or said or “made you” feel this way or that way. No.

YOU are the leader of your life.

YOU make a difference in your life and the lives of others so tell me, now: what are you doing right now to prepare yourself to be a better leader?

What WILL you do today to be a better leader right now and tomorrow and the next day?

You know what else?

I believe in you as a leader.

Perhaps that is your first task: to begin believing in YOURSELF as a leader.

Follow me on Twitter: @juliejordanscot

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This is my Ultimate Blog Challenge Writing for the Day. Be watching for my challenge posts which will include Writing Prompts, Writing Tips and General Life Tips and Essays. This is Blog 20/31 for July!

Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.

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Posted at 12:24 PM in Blog Dare, Creative Every Day, Creativity, Education, Family, Fear, Leadership, Leadership Development, Loving Life, Mistakes, Mommy Blog Dare, Parenting, Passion, Women Leaders, Writing Challenge, Writing Inspiration | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Samuel & Mommy: Beyond Language - On Ritual and Safety in Parenting a Child with High Functioning Autism

It’s #FiveMinuteFriday free write time! <—click to tweet this!

Where a flash mob of folks spend five minutes all writing on the same topic and then share ‘em at LisaJoBaker.com.

Words from my five minutes -

Samuel and I communicate in a beyond language place not unlike my brother, John, and I used to do.

People from the outside can’t climb inside our beyond language place, but for me it is a sacred experience between mother and son, fed by days and weeks and months of ritual and built on a foundation of safety and “I understand you” is the water we swim in. “I understand you and I love you.” is perhaps a tiny bit more accurate.

Samuel lives on the autistic spectrum. He has high functioning autism, so to most people he appears absolutely normal until something, unseen by most of the world, happens to interfere in his world and he blows up, to them, unexpectedly.

This happened last night at a party. I didn’t communicate clearly with him so when I said it was time to go, he wasn’t ready. He started crying, hard, and yelling at me.

He is eleven-years-old so this is pretty abnormal behavior for a boy his age.

He didn’t know many of the people there very well.

I felt awful about it, for him primarily.

When Emma saw him start to go, she retreated into the house. She gets scared when these episodes happen and she also gets more embarrassed than I.

I remember what it was like to be a special needs sibling, after all, my brother John had Down’s Syndrome. Before he died, we would communicate silently as well. I would “hear” him, though, clear as a bell. He would tell me things with his eyes. I would respond. No one else would be able to hear our conversations, our beyond words spaces and places we walked within.

I could easily be resentful or angry to have these relationships with these two guys in my life, but I am not. I am blessed. John prepared me to mother Samuel. Samuel prepared me to be an educational advocate, to communicate better with bureaucrats than I ever wanted to in the past.

Beyond language, beyond appearances, beyond our own understanding, we are blessed.

Five minutes: Over....

The guidelines for Five Minute Friday -

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

OK, are you ready? Please give me your best five minutes on:::

Beyond…

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Posted at 10:43 AM in 5 Minute Friday, Activism and the Arts, Advice, Asking and Living the Questions, Autism, Beyond Language, Education, Family, Fear, Forgiveness, High Functioning Autism, Inspiration, Julie Jordan Scott, Memories, Mommying, Motherhood, Parenting, Parenting a Child on the Autism Spectrum, Parenting Teens, Special Education, Special Needs Siblings | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

July 17, 2012

Letters to My Teen: Don't Let it Bother You

I wrote this yesterday as if I was speaking to my fourteen-year-old daughter, Emma. I imagined a friend was mad at her... which, by the way, turned out to not be the case AT ALL!

Nonetheless, I like what the BlogDare from BloggyMom's prompt created for me. It even prompted a follow up post which you may read here.

Monday July 16, 2012

Don't let it bother you.

These past choices you thought were the right ones, the faded brick colored blocks that created the foundation you walk upon now daily.

You can’t let them bother you.

What you can do, though, is pick your foot up and put it down. You can learn from the choices made that weren’t, after all, the best for you.

You can forgive yourself.

You may request forgiveness of others.

You thought your choice was the best choice for the moment. Some may fault you for this. You may let their judgment go and pray they will, eventually, return to you if not with compassion at least with a willingness to let it go, too, to let the bother be exfoliated from their system.

Don’t let it bother you because the bother lasts so much longer than the originating choice and follow through did. Make reparations. Smile. Breathe deeply and aim for now and your next nows.

Don’t let it bother you that others don’t understand you and may not even want to take the effort to understand you.

Don’t let it bother you that the past you is more than a tiny bit embarrassing to the now you.

Some people may have found her cute. Even though you abhor that word, cute, let it be, my love, just let it be.

Keep writing away any pain that comes when you forget to not let it bother you.

Then pick up your foot and put it down. Repeat. Again. And. Again.

Follow me on Twitter: @juliejordanscot

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This is my also my Ultimate Blog Challenge Writing for the Day. Be watching for my challenge posts which will include Writing Prompts, Writing Tips and General Life Tips and Essays. This is Blog 9/31 for July!

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Posted at 12:58 PM in Befriending Fear, Blog Boost, Blogging, Family, Fear, Forgiveness, Friendship, Julie Jordan Scott, July2012, Kindness, Living the Question, Memories, Mistakes, Mommy Blog Dare, Mommying, Motherhood, Notes to My Children (and Yours, too, Perhaps), oops!, Parenting, Parenting Teens, Summer Blog Challenge, Ultimate Blog Challenge | Permalink | Comments (1)

July 07, 2012

Exploring & Writing Your Way Into Wilderness: If You Couldn't Fail.....

“Wilderness itself is the basis of all our civilization. I wonder if we have enough reverence for life to concede to wilderness the right to live on?” Margaret "Mardy" Murie, "Grandmother" of the Conservation Movement.

Today's Summer Blog Challenge asks us: If You Couldn't Fail, What Would You Do?

If I couldn’t fail, I would do my long overdue tour of the country I have always wanted to do, sharing Word-Love, Passion for living and a full time embrace of the wilderness within and around us within every community so that each town, hamlet, city I go to can begin to spread the fire for personal expression, finding voice and just feeling better about this wilderness we all inhabit, that we all are….

That word, “Wilderness” has been percolating in my mind in a brand new way lately.

“Wild” ness

And

“Wilder” ness.

I have been reading the book When Women Were Birds by Terry Tempest Williams. She has a passion for wilderness as a naturalist, a biologist but even more than that, she has a passion for the wilderness within each of us.

Read some of her words:

“To be whole. To be complete. Wildness reminds us what it means to be human, what we are connected to rather than what we are separate from.” TTW

If I couldn’t fail, I would do my long overdue tour of the country, sharing Word-Love, Passion for living and a full time embrace of the wilderness within and around us within every community so that each town, hamlet, city I go to can begin to spread the fire for personal expression, finding voice and just feeling better about this wilderness we all inhabit, that we all are….

Yes. Wilderness is connection, human connection.

“We can try to kill all that is native, string it up by its hind legs for all to see, but spirit howls and wildness endures.” TTW

Yes. How many people have had their passion, their individuality strung up for months, weeks, days, even years in some cases? I know because I was one of those people who did that.

I know some people connote “wild” with frightening or loud or nutty or something and someone you steer clear of, but I am taking it on differently and wondering if you might dip your toe into seeing wilderness and wildness in a new way.

(For some reason the song “Born to Be Wild” is now playing in my head.)

One definition of wilderness:

1. An unsettled, uncultivated region left in its natural condition, especially:

a. A large wild tract of land covered with dense vegetation or forests.

b. An extensive area, such as a desert or ocean, that is barren or empty; a waste.

c. A piece of land set aside to grow wild.

2. Something characterized by bewildering vastness, perilousness, or unchecked profusion: the wilderness of the city; the wilderness of counterespionage; a wilderness of voices.

When I looked into the definition of “Wild” I see why people might stray from it. I sort of shook my head as I read, saying “yeah, but… you make it sound…”

I feel like I want to be an attorney in the defense of “Wild” and “Wilderness”.

wild (wld)

adj. wild·er, wild·est

1. Occurring, growing, or living in a natural state; not domesticated, cultivated, or tamed: wild geese; edible wild plants.

2. Not inhabited or farmed: remote, wild country.

3. Uncivilized or barbarous; savage.

a. Lacking supervision or restraint: wild children living in the street.

b. Disorderly; unruly: a wild scene in the school cafeteria.

c. Characterized by a lack of moral restraint; dissolute or licentious: recalled his wild youth with remorse.

5. Lacking regular order or arrangment; disarranged: wild locks of long hair.

6. Full of, marked by, or suggestive of strong, uncontrolled emotion: wild with jealousy; a wild look in his eye; a wild rage.

7. Extravagant; fantastic: a wild idea.

8. Furiously disturbed or turbulent; stormy: wild weather.

9. Risky; imprudent: wild financial schemes.

10.

a. Impatiently eager: wild to get away for the weekend.

b. Informal Highly enthusiastic: just wild about the new music.

11. Based on little or no evidence or probability; unfounded: wild accusations; a wild guess.

12. Deviating greatly from an intended course; erratic: a wild bullet.

13. Games Having an equivalence or value determined by the cardholder's choice: playing poker with deuces wild.

adv.

In a wild manner: growing wild; roaming wild.

1. A natural or undomesticated state: returned the zoo animals to the wild; plants that grow abundantly in the wild.

2. An uninhabited or uncultivated region. Often used in the plural: the wilds of the northern steppes.

intr.v. wild·ed, wild·ing, wilds Slang

Final words from Terry Tempest Williams:

"If you know wilderness in the way that you know love, you would be unwilling to let it go.... This is the story of our past and it will be the story of our future."

What would you do if you couldn’t fail?

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Posted at 12:16 PM in Blog Hop, Fear, July2012, Literary History, Naturalist, Networking, Passion, Passion for Creativity, Peacefulness, Storytelling, Summer Blog Challenge, Travel, Wilderness, Woman Naturalist, Women's Movement, Women's Quotes, Word-Love, Writing, Writing Camp, Writing Prompt | Permalink | Comments (1)

July 05, 2012

Writing & Talking About Fear: How to Shake Hands with What Scares You to Lead a More Satisfying Life

So that is what I have done: conversed with the not yet visible you about being scared and turning out... somehow... better for the experience.

It would have been easier to write about my fear of the dark. That would have been the cowards way out, and if there is one lesson I have learned from living through my fear, it is the cowards way out may look easier in the beginning, but when all is said and done, standing tall and shaking hands with my fear is the best way to survive it.

There is power in sitting down for coffee with my fear, letting her have her say and share a bit of wisdom with me. Sure, it is easier to ignore it and to confess to an “easy” fear like my still-there-from-childhood-fear-of-the-dark.

I have been pondering this post for a long time primarily because I have resolved possibly the most important fears I could have ever had simply because… I experienced them. I lived through them. I came out the other side wiser, tougher yet more willing to be vulnerable simply because I know the strength of fragility.

I would guess this makes little sense without context.

My first big fear was realized when my eldest child – my first baby – was stillborn. It never entered my mind such a thing could happen, especially to me, but after dealing with infertility and being “so good!” during my pregnancy, how could this happen?

It did. It was a fluke (a cord accident) and I lived through the experience, through the grief, through the nearly two years before I had my next baby and now, with each milestone that would have been I am reminded, again. Marlena’s younger sister, Katherine, is working this Summer in the Navajo Nation & will be doing her junior year abroad in Edinburgh in September.

I have no living memories with Marlena. And the fear of losing one of my others is actually minimized because I do have memories with them.

When I was a child, I lived with the chronic fear of being institutionalized. I come from a family with six children and the brother right below me – only 14 months younger, had Down’s Syndrome. In our family, we pretended he was just like the rest of us and rarely talked about the fact he was different which meant I had to deal with a lot of staring and glares and discomfort when I was out with him which as a preschooler was constantly. People say stupid things in front of small children. The question came up a lot at the coffee clatches my Mom attended: “When are you going to send John away? My friend’s friend has her child at “Name this institution” and it has been such a blessing” or some version of that.

Imagine a young child whose entire life revolved around protecting and being with her little brother who she considered to be absolutely normal: what do you think she thought?

I thought I would be sent away with him and the best way to keep us both safe was by being the best little girl (and the best little caretaker) as possible. I never knew when the people from an institution would knock on the door and remove us, unceremoniously.

This Fall I had another huge fear realized. I don’t talk about it much because it is still too close, but my children were out of my custody for four of the longest days of my life. Thank God for close friends who supported and loved me through those days and celebrated with us when the children came home to me. The scars from those four days will last a lifetime for me, I am sure. Interesting, isn’t it, how my children lived out my biggest childhood fear? I never put two-and-two together before this exact moment.

It would have been easier to write about my fear of the dark.

It would have been an honest confession, but it wouldn’t have been filled with truth, like this post has been.

If you would like to converse with me one-on-one about any of this, please send me an email: juliejordanscott at gmail dot com. If you would rather read me more before you take that scary leap into uncomfortable conversation, just follow me here or on twitter or like me on facebook. When you feel more comfortable, drop me a note. I would love to hear from you.

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Posted at 11:34 AM in Befriending Fear, Behind the Scenes, Blog Hop, Blogging, Fear, Forgiveness, Friendship, Parenting, Special Needs Siblings, Succulents, Word-Love, Writing, Writing Prompt | Permalink | Comments (4)

August 29, 2011

Create Your Way to Stillness Amidst First-Week-of-School Chaos

How to Create Your Way Out of Chaos During the First Week of School Rush

The First Week of School Transitions Often Mean.... Crazed Hecticness!

Last Monday had a tumultuous feel to it. If Earthquakes had foreshocks rather than aftershocks, Monday felt like a foreshock. I kept waiting for the rattling to begin in earnest.

Rattling came in the three out of the five days Emma came home and cried in sadness that her first high school days felt wobbly and uncertain.

Rattling came in my frustration with educational politics and even though Samuel seemed happy in his classroom, I was more than vaguely dissatisfied and worried what the ramifications would be for me making him make a change to a more appropriate for him classroom.

Somehow I knew, intuitively, that I should create something during those wobbly first days.

I wanted something meditative, something pleasant to experience both while I was creating it and after I finished. I dug for some of my painted papers and found pages with reds, oranges and yellows. “A return to the poetry fire, the creative fire or most of all, the blossoming of Word-Love fire, “ I thought to myself.

A cast off kitchen ornament was my canvas and I created this Word-Love-Fire Tulip.

It is decorated with a Horsey Dictionary page and a short story from a 1930’s text book. The story was written by a woman named Katharine Brush.

I love this tulip.

Maybe I will put it on a display to sell or maybe I will just keep it, for me to love.

Word-Love-Fire. What’s not to love?

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Posted at 11:25 AM in Education, Fear, Growth: Adding to the Increase 2013, Parenting, Parenting Teens | Permalink | Comments (3)

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July 27, 2012

Step One to Prepare Yourself for Your Next Phase of Leadership: Soul Assignment Accepted

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Samuel & Mommy: Beyond Language - On Ritual and Safety in Parenting a Child with High Functioning Autism

Beyond…

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July 17, 2012

Letters to My Teen: Don't Let it Bother You

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July 07, 2012

Exploring & Writing Your Way Into Wilderness: If You Couldn't Fail.....

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July 05, 2012

Writing & Talking About Fear: How to Shake Hands with What Scares You to Lead a More Satisfying Life

August 29, 2011

Create Your Way to Stillness Amidst First-Week-of-School Chaos