Julie Unplugged

Not a Quick Jaunt AND Well Worth the Visit: Mount Vernon, the Washington's Virginia Home

An impressive view of the Mount Vernon George and Martha Washington called home.

I have spent almost my entire adult life driving my children to school on Mt Vernon Avenue here in Bakersfield. In fact, this is the first year of my entire mother-of-school-children-career that I haven’t done the daily Mom Schlep to the street with the important name.

 Perhaps that was one of the things that drew me to visit George and Martha Washington’s Mount Vernon when I visited the DC area this Summer. Well, the coupon on my rental car reservation also helped.

I thought it would be a quick jaunt down US History Lane.

Once again, I was wrong.

Someday I will get this all down but for now, no. I was very, very wrong.

I wish you could smell this as well as see it. Beautiful!

Mount Vernon is not just a little house one visits, tucked away on a country road. It is a grand estate, a mini-town. There is industry, commerce, horticulture and unsurpassed beauty as well as a large house which is in the midst of being renovated. My history books didn’t go into much of this, perhaps because history books when I was young passed up social history altogether.

 

I didn’t know, for example, that Washington wanted to be remembered as a gentleman farmer. On his property was a very high tech (for the time) green house. There were several gardens where they grew vegetables, herbs and flowers.

I spent most of the time I was there with my jaw dropped.

I hung out with a blacksmith for a few minutes and talked to the gardening caretakers. I took not nearly enough photos.

Now this is what I call a writing porch!

I highly recommend you pay the extra fee for the audio tour. You learn so much with your carry-able tour guide, all the tiniest details and great nuggets for conversation if you are with others. If you have children, they can share the responsibility for holding the audio wand and pushing the buttons which correspond with areas of note as you traverse the estate.

 

The back porch is more than expansive and looks out on an enormously inviting lawn. There are chairs set up in a row for your group to sit in and I saw more than several children playing on the lawn. I can’t help but think that would make Martha and George happy.

The tour of the home is one of the better tours I have been on and yes, I have been on many. Instead of being with one tour guide, the group moves from room to room where the specialist in that room tells you about it. There are items the Washington’s owned as well as period pieces.  My favorite single item was a gift from Lafayette to the Washingtons. I am purposefully not telling you so you will find out on your own visit. The lack of interior photos is because they are not allowed. Go visit, go visit! *Happy smiles*

I also loved hearing about the hospitality of the day. It reminds me of what I experience with couch surfing. Someone arrives at the door, you welcome them, give them a place to sleep and get to know them for a bit. Instant friends, momentary family or icy frenemies all gather around the table. Oh, to be there at that time.

Unfortunately my photo of the dorm style part of the room was blurry. One of the informational boards told me the children slept on the floor.

On my private audio tour I visited the houses where the slaves of the Washington’s lived, in two separate dormitory style cabins. One was for the men and one was for the women (and very young little boys). These were the slaves that worked in the home and around the estate, so we are told their living quarters were rather fine. The homes belonging to the people in the vicinity were not as grand as these and I can only imagine what the living quarters were like for the people working the fields.

 

There is so much to see in the Washington, DC area AND I was so glad I took (not enough) time to see Mount Vernon. It created context for every other place and monument I visited while I was there. I will definitely return.

 

The Washington Monument is currently being restored

 

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© 2013

How Breaking the Rules Brought Delight to Our Geocaching Treasure Hunt

Kathie reaches into the wall of the chimney to find our Happy Jack geocaching surprise

We were in for a shock that morning.

 

I have only actively disagreed with my parents twice in my entire life.

Both times my parents allowed me to “take the reins of the moment” the outcome has been both memorable and wonderful.

It happened again last week, this time my disagreement was with my Dad rather than my Mom.

Dad has turned my children and me into geocachers. This was the first time we went geocaching with Mom along and Dad had a big day of finding hidden treasures around Flagstaff all planned out. If you don’t know what geocaching is, the website gives a short definition like this: “Geocaching is the real-world treasure hunt that's happening right now, all around you. There are 2,170,289 active geocaches and over 6 million geocachers worldwide,” and then invites visitors to get more information here. 

When we visit my parents in Flagstaff my Dad takes us on adventures where we hunt for hidden treasures tucked away in surprising places. Our first stop on this trip was to a chimney, standing on its own,  in what was once a part of a place called Happy Jack’s – a logging camp that had been defunct for more than fifty years.

Dad meant for it to be a “practice cache” since he was the one who initially hid it, he couldn’t find it again, but the kids and I could use it as a sort of “warm up.”

Katherine shows the cache treasure while Samuel inspects the hiding space.

It was unfortunate to discover there were people camping there by the fireplace when we arrived for our treasure hunt. “Who are those people camping at our site?” we lamented. I was intrigued by the rogue chimney and did not want to turn away from it. I could tell from my father’s voice that he intended to turn around and not find the treasure he had hidden for the first time several years ago.

 

When I do things in direct opposition to my parents I have to speak and act simultaneously or else I get scared.

After all, when I go on these adventures with Dad, my proper “don’t bug your father” behavior is so extreme I don’t even confess when I need to use the restroom, so hearing myself insist, “I still want to get out and find it,” while cracking open my door and putting my foot out took me by complete surprise.

The thing is, when someone takes control, it seems like the rest of the group falls into place. It is like the Improv rule of agreeing with whatever your scene partner does. If one of the geocaching team insists, the others just fall into the line of energy tossed out by the most insistent.

We weren’t expecting one of the campers to ask, “Are you Pinecone Joe?” after Katherine discovered the cache wedged into the chimney itself. Dad was so surprised to be asked about his geocaching identity his glee spread across his entire face. Turns out both the campers and their family members had been curious about the mysterious list of people’s names in an altoids box and purposefully hidden in the happy jack chimney, but didn’t imagine they would ever find the man who seemed to have buried the treasure and then deserted it.

Samuel enjoys the fire the Campers built at "our" spot. Lovely!

Dad mentioned his delight at this connection throughout our visit to Flagstaff. It may have been the highlight of his week or month.

I could continue and talk about metaphors or launch into a writing prompt, but instead I’ll just sit with the memory of being brave enough to disagree, take action, and let Dad experience his highlight of the week while the rest of ours made our own memory and our own moment.

There is time for metaphors and life coaching and deep pondering tomorrow and the next today.

Today my smile at the memory is enough.

* * * * *

 

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© 2013

Roadtrip Love: Leaving for Flagstaff in the Morning for the First Time in Two Years!

Tomorrow we leave for Flagstaff: an abridged group since Emma is staying behind for her Les Mis rehearsals.

I cannot remember feeling this excited about going there before: butterflies in my stomach – smile I can’t wipe off my face – a skip to my step as I clear out the trunk of my car of all the extraneous stuff that tends to gather there.

It has been two years since we have been to Flagstaff. Time goes so quickly and with children in high school, college and now in junior high, it is nearly impossible to sync schedules. This year I threw the need to sync to the wind and Emma is staying here. She just got back from Washington, DC, after all. I am still recuperating from that trip but am very excited to hit the road this time.

Perhaps it’s the thought of a roadtrip with Katherine, my most happy-to-roadtrip child. Maybe it’s the train ride to the Grand Canyon we are planning on our final day in the area. I have wanted to ride that train for as long as I can remember but have always scoffed about the expense.

Well, the expense is still there, but my desire and feeling “hey, we only live once and Samuel has never been to the Grand Canyon and this is a way I think he will really enjoy it!” won out so I bought tickets.

I actually sat still for a minute to scan my body for anxiety.

There was none.

I have no anxiety about the trip at all, which is also a strange condition for me.

Maybe that is why I am so excited. The lack of tension feels like such a grand thing! It gives us more opportunities to build lasting memories for my children, especially Samuel, who was not very enthusiastic when I told him we were going.

“Why do I have to go?” Samuel asked me.

I mumbled a few reasons that felt inadequate and added, “Plus we’re visiting your grandparents. They want to see you.” The tears that stung my eyes told me I wanted him to see them and I wanted to see them seeing each other.

My parents are now older than all their parents lived to be. They are in their 80’s and relatively healthy, yet many of their friends have died. I am ever conscious we may not have a “next visit” and try to live each visit as if that were so. It might sound morbid on first reading, but when you think about it from an inner core perspective, you will recognize how enlivening it is.

It reminds me to be intentional, to not waste the moments with trivia, to watch and listen and be open to any threads of stories or traces of my grandparents in my parents so that I can retell their stories to my grandchildren who can in turn share the stories with their grandchildren.

We’re scheduled to leave at six a.m. I plan to pack up the car before I go to sleep. I look forward to waking up!

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The Sweet Memories of Getting Lost on a Family Roadtrip

Today's post was inspired by this prompt from the folks at Scintilla Project. " Talk about where you were going the day you got lost. Were you alone? Did you ever get to where you were going?

If my GPS were human I would marry it. I don’t know what I would do without it, seriously.

It shows me faster ways to get places, warns me if traffic is ahead and lets me choose an alternate path, it is even patient with me when I inadvertently go the wrong way.

I started using a handheld GPS on road trips with my children.

One day in the wilds of Butte, Montana the GPS we called Pete took us onto a private ranch road. I was scared a crazed rancher with a long shot gun was going to chase after me, taking my children hostage and feeding them to a hungry buffalo or whatever big, meat eating animal roams around those parts of the country. I turned back. Pete was

The Beauty of the Montana Sky took my breath away. Photos can't capture that feeling it gives off....

not amused. He kept saying, "Take a U-Turn as soon as possible!”

Over and over again as the widest most beautiful sunset was taking place all around us we were told, "Take a U-Turn as soon as possible" we found our way back to our funky motel. Butte’s name was quite a joke for my children. We still laugh about it. Samuel was seven at the time and any sort of “naughty body part” humor had him in stitches and he repeated it over and over and over again.

My favorite “ohmigawsh, we’re lost!” took place outside Cambridge, Massachusetts when we were trying to get to my friend, Pegi’s house in Hyannis on Cape Cod. I can still see the road in front of me: it was one of those chaotic stretches of highway which is like a doorway to roads in every direction and if you take the wrong one, you can pretty much be guaranteed a heckuva long detour.

We went into a tunnel – with me praying I made the right choice and then, we lost our

Yes - once the worry of "Well Guys, We're on our own!" we had a lovely Easter Celebration in Cape Cod

GPS signal. The girls and I moaned. We then went silent until Samuel, now nine and completely logical declared, “Well, guys, it looks like we are on our own!” which made the girls and I grown and laugh hysterically. We popped out of the tunnel, the GPS received its signal again and we were exactly where we were supposed to be.

Why is it the getting lost or almost getting lost or going the wrong way stories seem to wind up as favorite stories to tell later? They’re often more memorable than all the well thought out plans: the National Park, the amusement park, the beach. Those activities become fuzzy, but sitting in the car together laughing and moaning as we sit close together, wide-eyed while sipping on both wonder and worry live forever.

 

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© 2013 by Julie Jordan Scott

Hiking + My son + My friends + My spontaneous walking stick = Heaven on Earth

Go up the hill: you will find friends in the meadow, waiting for you.

Sunday: Today I have a date to go hiking with a group of friends as well as a few friends-to-be invited by the other hikers.

 

I first did this as an adult only a few years ago. A mixed, eclectic group of people with children and without stretching from our twenties to our fifties for the adults and from eight years old through teen –spread out across the Mill Creek Trail in the Kern Canyon. Michelle and I decided to recreate this trip but with more people this time around.

We want to celebrate our time together with VDAY Bakersfield, 2013.  This is an annual event where women gather to raise awareness and money to end violence against women and girls. Naturally it creates a unique and if it is done right, unforgettable and lasting bond. Michelle and I became friends several years ago because of VDay and we both know we will continue to be close friends only if we connect in between runs of the annual show/awareness/fundraiser.

Hiking is a great way to connect and reconnect. No matter your age, you may participate. Your fitness level doesn’t entirely matter because there will be others similarly matched.

I am actually not completely afraid I will bring up the rear unless I do it by choice.

I am taking my son, Samuel, who has autism again, even though he melted down last time, pretty severely.

Samuel Revisits a Triumph from Earlier Years: Rockcliming for an Audience of Appreciative Onlookers

This year I have taken several measures to prevent a recurrence and I feel confident all the memories we make will be positive. After all, he remembers the fun from last time at this point, not the melt down. This is a mark of good friends and lots of optimism in the air.

 

Samuel asks me questions from the bedroom. “What friends are you taking?” he asks, preparing himself for who he will meet on the trail and on the drive into the canyon. He acts as if I am the center of this expedition. In a way I am.

The time to worry about the hike is over. The time to put sunscreen on my face and my stuff in the car is here.

===

This is the hiking group that assembled: 18 humans + two dogs (My left arm is covering the "Most Difficult" warning! Photo by Tish Gamez

Thursday: I found this beginning of a blog post from last Sunday and I wanted to add a post script: we had a great time Sunday. Eighteen people gathered and hiked the trail which we thought was fairly easy before we started but we discovered upon returning to our cars it was graded as “Most Difficult”.

 

I lagged behind to take photos and to experience the trail alone with the others and Samuel was the trailblazer, leading us all. He gained confidence, I gained freedom as I trusted the other hikers to be substitute caretakers. He felt loved as did I. I made new friends and as we sat eating lunch on an enormous boulder, I noticed this wasn’t just a random boulder, it was also a grinding rock from the Yokutz people who lived here years ago.

Lunch atop a Yokutz Grinding Stone, Deep in the Kern Canyon

Mike, one of our most able and enthusiastic hikers added, after I exclaimed my noticing, “And look, they must have sat in a circle as they worked.”

 

The photos of the day show me with a smile on my face, over and over again. Big, goofy, satisfied smiles lit up my face as I strode along the path, happy as a slow-flying lark, to borrow a term from my Mother.

My friends and I have decided we will take monthly hikes from now on and maybe, possibly, do a couple camping weekends. We are building a loving community as we walk and discover new places. We are blessed.

I couldn't stop smiling. Hiking + My son + My friends + My spontaneous walking stick = Heaven on Earth

 

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© 2013 by Julie Jordan Scott

Ten Top Ways to Create a Friendly, Supportive Environment So Your Teen & Her Friends will Flock to Your Home.

Not long ago my teen told me her friends declared to her, “Your Mom loves you too much.” What I think they meant was, “Your Mom sure loves you a lot! (and I wish my Mom showed her love as much as your Mom does.) I decided it might help if I shared some of what I do in order to make my daughter feel loved and her friends the teensiest bit wistful… and hope they build even better relationships with their Moms.

• Make your home a teen-friendly environment. Don’t be a helicopter hostess but do have
  

  Hosting Study Groups is a great way for my teen to get her homework done.
  snacks and drinks available and plentiful.

• Treat teen’s friends with respect. Ask friendly questions and compliment something about them each time you see them.

• Take your hospitality to school: I pack extra cookies in my daughter’s lunch. Sometimes I pack extra entrée-foods as well. I have found with teens that offering food = making quick friends.Also consider a Pizza Friday. Take four or so pizza’s to your teen at lunch hour on a random Friday. The concept is to share pizza and make friends. It works!

• Become the study group hub for your teens and your teen’s friends. My teen finally learned the value of study groups and now they are a regular occurrence at our home and her friend’s homes. It doesn’t only help them build relationships, it helps them increase their grades as well.

• Spend special one-on-one time with your teen.
  

  My eldest daughter and I had a recent day to ourselves. We both benefited!

• When possible, invite other Mom-teen pairings so that you will all benefit. We did this at an art museum in Pasadena so we traveled together, ate together, went on a tour together and afterwards, had more depth to each relationship in our group.

• Do service with your teen and her friends following her nudges or ideas rather than what you want to do. If you follow only your interest, the service may become a grudge-builder rather than a relationship builder. If she likes animals, volunteer to help at an animal shelter even though you would rather plant gardens or deliver meals to the elderly.

• Include your teen and her friends in planning their next big event. My daughter and her friends will be here next week to prepare for the formal. My participation will be primarily in readying the space as well as providing snacks, mirrors and lights, perhaps hair spray and the like.

• Be the parent who is happy to drive your teen and her friends to events.  I drive my daughter
  

  After their performance, they had pizza with other singing friends. I drove.
  and her choir friends to performances. A bonus is I usually sit in my car and read or write while they are inside, so I get some bonus “me” time while building a relationship with my daughter and her friends.

• Don’t wait until your teen is in high school to start implementing these ideas. If you wait that long, it might be too late.

 

 

 

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© 2013 by Julie Jordan Scott

 

 

 

This is my thirteenth post (of 31!) for the January Ultimate Blog Challenge. Watch here for challenge posts which will include Writing Prompts, Writing Tips and General Life Tips and Essays.

Cultivating Relationships: Starting at the Very Beginning - with our Parents

Today's prompt from Meredith and her Cultivate12 project:

Parents: Whether they're still alive or long since passed, biological or adopted, our parents were the first people to teach us about relationships. How can you cultivate a stronger, healthier relationship with them? How can you reconcile your past with your present and future?

I am blessed. My relationship with my parents just keeps getting better.

They are celebrating their sixtieth wedding anniversary on December 26. The party will include one fewer child for them, my brother John passed away in between the fiftieth anniversary and this one. They will have their first Great Grandchild: darling Paloma. I imagine my niece will be there: the one who my sister gave up for adoption and we miraculously found her… I can’t remember the exact dates, but I know she wasn’t at the last party.

My Dad & My Kids hiking & geocaching several years ago in Flagstaff

My parents have gotten softer as they’ve gotten older. Their blacks and whites are smudgy. My Dad is always happy. He loves where he lives, he is very active, and when he answers the phone we actually talk. In the old days he would answer and immediately pass me over to Mom.

Dad and I share interests: I visited an abandoned Mill in Northern California and I called my Dad, so excited to tell him.

When my daughter had a history project, Mom sent a geneology report. My happiest finding is the first child born in the United States from my mother’s side of the family was named Samuel and there are many, many Samuel’s in our family tree.

I didn’t know this when I named my Samuel.

Nana & Emma bonding with pumpkins and apples in Tehachapi this October

Mom visited in October after my surgery. We had perhaps our best visit yet. We made stuff together, we visited an art museum, we laughed together and we picked apples and pumpkins together. The unique pumpkin she picked out became a jack-o-lantern in one of the spots where my brother John’s ashes are buried.

She had it photographed it for me. It is almost like I was there. John and I were exceptionally close, so it meant more than words can say to be “included” in the celebration.

I will continue to do as I have been doing: caring, communicating and experiencing life together.

It is never enough since they live in Flagstaff and I live in Bakersfield, but via Facebook – I get to “see” them regularly.

 

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© 2012 by Julie Jordan Scott

Thankvember Day 14: Today I am Grateful to Live so Close to Bakersfield's Bluffs

I am grateful to live so close to the Bluffs here in Bakersfield. Three blocks from my house the road ends and opens up into them. They seem like they wait for me and applaud whenever I arrive.

Yes, Bakersfield gets a bad rap. Some of it is accurate, I will admit. There are days when I want to kick myself for still calling this place home, but this morning as I sat on the wet grass on the bluffs taking photos for Art Every Day month, I was reminded how much I love this part of Bakersfield.

My neighborhood actually has hills.

It isn’t entirely flat.

The bluffs tower above all that Black Gold that runs underground here in Bakersfield so the view is sort of… well, it isn’t the ocean or the view from the top of a mountain in neighboring Sequoia, but at night you can enjoy looking at the lights on the oil rigs blink and it is quite pretty.

The bluffs have a walking path and a second, more rugged path I usually take.

It’s a great place to meet people for walking or talking or taking in the sunset.

About ten years they took this plain Jane park and decided to get fancy schmantzy with landscaping and much of that has been reclaimed by wild growth, but some aspects of it remain.

I have many fun memories with my dogs, my kids and myself – I have been known to go their when I’m sad or need some quiet, contemplative time or when I have no idea what I want. Sitting at the far west side of the bluffs tends to calm my spirit. I have even met coaching clients there as we worked through whatever they needed to work through.

I am grateful to live so close to the bluffs here in Bakersfield.

What are you grateful for today?

 

 

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Do you have a lot of stuff to get done but can never seem to find the motivation? We have a solution - Get stuff done while having lots of fun at Passion Activator Friday - November 16, 2012 Check it out! 

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© 2012 by Julie Jordan Scott

 

 

The Unlikely Joy in Singing Karaoke as a Family

We started singing karaoke as a family before Emma was born. I believe she would say “I was a fetus at the time.”

Katherine would sing “Amazing Grace” as a preschooler with me singing softly in her ear so she would get the words. Bianca, then in high school, would sing something like Madonna or a something from the Bare Naked Ladies – a band whose name I struggled to remember.

One night when I was pregnant with Samuel and at the end of my rope I went to a bar to sing. Just to sing. An old friend from the first days of karaoke saw me and invited me to sit with her and her friends. I suppose it looked strange, a very pregnant woman waddling in, looking for respite from life away from recorded music to sing along to with full commitment.

Emma joined us and in preschool  she very earnestly sang “Ooops, I did it again” at a favorite pizza haunt that has been since turned into a barbeque joint. Samuel was a baby then and got passed around other loving people because this is what happens with karaoke, people just grow to continually show up and we grow to love each other and encourage each other.

There were times all four kids were there with ages ranging from 8 months to 20 years. I was, ofcourse… double the eldest child’s age.

It seems silly, and I admit, perhaps it is. These days Emma and I enjoy doing ridiculous sing-offs. We have done Carrie Underwood sing offs and Britney Spears sing offs. She always kicks my butt. Always.

We decided next time we are going to do a duet of “I’ve Got You Babe.” Somehow she gets to be Cher and I am stuck being Sonny. How did that happen?

The best thing about karaoke is I always go home happier than when I arrived. How often do you say that about an outing with your family?

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© 2012 by Julie Jordan Scott

  Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & next year she will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.

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Our Family Traditions: Then and Now Autumn Blog Challenge #abc

I have been off on dates lately. I believe it is only the 17th? I could blame it on the time warp caused by surgery, but I am not absolutely positive that is it. Anyway, here is the prompt I responded to today for the Autumn Blog Challenge.

October 18 - Write about a childhood family tradition.

I longed for family when I was a little girl.

You may find that odd since I spent my life surrounded by four brothers and a sister. My longing for family was what I wished for with all my being. My heart ached for my extended family. I wished I had connections close by to share holidays and important events with on a regular basis.

We had one set of cousins who were an air force family, so they lived somewhat close to us on a regular basis. We visited them in Dover, Delaware; Someplace in Connecticut near the prep school called Choate where my cousin attended; we visited them when they lived outside Washington, DC.

It wasn’t the same, though, as the close knit families in New Jersey who had family a couple streets over or perhaps in the next town or the most distant, three counties away. I didn’t know any other child whose family lived three time zones away.

We had a couple traditions: Christmas Morning, no going downstairs until 7 am and when we did go downstairs, there was a momentous very long time when Daddy went to light the Christmas tree before all six of us would race down the wooden stairs and trample anything in between us and our stack of gifts.

We had a tradition of visiting my next door neighbors on Christmas Eve.

We had a tradition of always eating Thanksgiving alone, without any other family members. I didn’t like this tradition yet have inadvertently continued this tradition with my children perhaps because my other siblings didn’t mind it as much as I minded it.

In my family now we have countless traditions and rituals.

Samuel, my eleven-year-old is like many other children who are on the spectrum. He has turned almost everything we do into a ritual or tradition. Last night I think I hit paydirt when I asked him to take his bag into the house. And he did. And then he repeated it later.

I had forgotten to cue him to the next upcoming tradition.

We celebrate my daughter’s Christmas birthday in the Afternoon/Evening of Christmas Day.

My children traditionally bring me breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day.

We also have an apple picking tradition and a make-ghosts-out-of-white-trash-bag tradition which we are going to complete this weekend.

Traditions help bring families together usually with laughter, joy and hope.

I am grateful I have given my children these gifts and hope to continue for a long time to come.

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© 2012 by Julie Jordan Scott

  Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.

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