This is my Wonky House - I've also used the "smoke" and the sky as a background for a quote banner.
What went right this year - - the truth is a lot of things went right. My accomplishments weren't as they might have been in the past, but they are turning out to be more and more remarkable as this year comes to a close.
Here is a look at one of my recent - and very happy - "What went right."
I have been participating in Creative Every Day with Leah Piken Kolidas and her Art Every Day in November for the past five years. I have always loved it, but something was different this year.
I was on fire for new techniques and stretching myself and my abilities and out of the blue I found a deeper level to myself and my art. Mixed Media, Functional Art, More Book-Word-Love Art, naturally tons of photography and photo editing, and let's not forget I even practiced sketching eyes and working with paper mache.
I usually feel like I'm not quite up to par with art every day month but suddenly, in 2013, I felt on steady footing.
I've included some images here for you to see.
These are my first book sculptures. I'm officially in love with the process.
There are really many other things
that went right. I am sure I will
share more throughout the month,
but this is what immediately popped
into my mind.
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Check out the prompt today for the specific wording and ways to connect by visiting KatMcNally.com.
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Julie Jordan Scott is a writer, performance poet, Mommy and mixed-media artist. Her word-love themed art will be for sale at a First Friday soon, when it is warmer than it was in December!, in Downtown Bakersfield. Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.
The rewards and gifts I’m taking from this
past year into the next are…
The wounds and battle scars I’m taking from this
past year into the next are…
The gifts of my wounds are…
My biggest “Big Wound Thing” from 2012 is
my melanoma and the wound from my melanoma surgery which still isn’t absolutely
right. It is on its way to being right, but as of now, no no no no no.
Did I mention “NO!”
Just after my surgery my friend
Jennie said, “Oh, I bet the day will come when you will celebrate your scar!”
She is right, to a degree.
Perhaps in the months to come I will
celebrate it more vociferously.
I would venture to guess I am still
too close to it and the reality of another surgery hovering about I feel like I
am in the “Celebration Green Room” – waiting to be called to places before I “go
on stage” to announce, “My scar celebration time is here!”
The time before and after my surgery
also strengthened my “No, not at this time,” button. I was able to turn things
down, cancel commitments and create my schedule from moment-to-moment rather
than month-to-month.
It seems as if all my battle scars
of the year harken from this one incident but I know that can’t possibly be
true.
Digging more deeply: I have battle scars
from being rejected via betrayal. Repeatedly. This particular episode coincided
with my melanoma which only made it feel worse and like my melanoma wound, the
scar is taking its time to heal.
I have learned a lot about grace and
unconditional love from this horrific chapter of my life. I would say I have
integrated a lot of what I had learned about grace and unconditional love. I
also believe this chapter is one that still has pages to turn in 2013.
There is my Theater Absence Battle
Scar which was at first by choice and then, later, by melanoma fate.
I have learned how deep my love for
theater is and I have also learned I need to work on production more, to put
together my own projects from top to bottom and then bring them to the
community without a particular venue being in control.
Gifts? Tenacity. Grace. Truly Unconditional
Love. My friendships are more supportive than I ever knew they could be. I am
stronger than I ever knew I was. I am now a (and I abhor this expression) “boundary”
setter and holder. I know the power of healing on an entirely new level.
I have also remembered and will
carry forward the strength in holding “Gratitude” and “I am completely pissed
off about this!” at the same time. Some people don’t
know this is true but 2012 has taught me this is completely possible. I have
done it…. and am willing to continue to carry it.
These quotes from Carly Simon couldn’t
have found me at a more perfect time. She is my favorite singer since 1973 (!),
someone I wanted to actually become in high school. Well, I finally know her on
a very intimate level through our shared experiences with scars.
“I just want to show off my scar
proudly and not be afraid of it.”
“My scar is beautiful. It looks like
an arrow.” (Mine looks like a heart!)
Her quotes are rising up in my
world. I’ll create art with them.
2012: You were a horrifically
wonderful gift to me.
2013: I am looking forward to what
tortuous magnificence we will create together!
How are you going to celebrate your self this festive
season?
Will anyone be shocked that I start this post of
celebration and festivities with a confession?
The curtain fell on my last completely festive season in
1989. Some of you weren’t born yet. The average person who knows me doesn’t
know this. It isn’t as if I whine and sulk and put on an annual “Woe is Me at
the Holidays Parade” or anything even remotely similar.
It has been too long.
I need to choose to end those days of unhappy holidays
and painted on happy faces. I need to create a ceremony with my children where we all celebrate each other individually, to make the holidays sacred just because we are and just because we love each other.
My parent’s 60th Anniversary Party is on
December 26. My daughter’s twenty-first birthday is on the 25th. We
will leave for the party in San Diego County on the morning of the 26th
and spend the night on the 26th and 27th in Dana Point,
the town where I lived for three years as I finished high school.
My children and I love it there.
One of our every-visit events is watching the sunset at
the Dana Point Jetty. My eldest daughter will be back from her semester in
Scotland. We will have been reunited for four days, so we will be mostly used
to each other again. On that night, as we watch the sunset, we will create a
ceremony to bless the year that is ending and to bless the year that is about
to begin.
Each person will have a chance to “sit on the throne” and
speak of their highlights and perhaps low lights of the year with the others
offering praise and gratitude for each person.
My younger kids may balk a bit, but I am going to keep my
Julie-and-Kids celebration in a space of love.
Then we’ll have dinner at one of our favorite places down
there. Right now we don’t have a favorite place, but I want it to overlook the
water.
This is a chance to celebrate and wash clean the dust of 2012. It has
been a bittersweet year as many years may be. I have noticed through Reverb
this year I am even now beginning that process of washing the year clean and
spreading gesso atop next year’s canvas.
May each and all have a festive SELF CELEBRATION this month (and how about we report in during next year's Reverb13?)
Remember that tired out, over-said saying:“When life gives you
lemons, make
lemonade”? I suppose we could say instead “When life gives you
pumpkins, cook every delectable item you possibly can” or, in my case, “If life
gives you melanoma and you need to remember to relax during recovery, see what
you have around the house and make something….”
Which brings me to my primping this week.
When life gives you lots of old books that probably will not
be read ever again, make them into painted flower roses that will be admired by
many in the days, weeks and years to come.
Addendum: I received requests to create a how-to on these roses, so look for that next Wednesday. I'm off to dye some Laura Ingalls Wilder pages to make a bouquet for you and use to teach you the technique!
I had made other flowers, mostly flat ones, but once I saw roses I knew I had to try to make them. I call the "Word-Love Flowers"
I watched a bunch of you tube videos during my recovery and
saw lots of different ways to make these and I put my own personal spin on them.
This is rough draft primping, I have to admit, but I will be
back in the future to primp more! (This is my first time here!)
Julie Jordan Scott
has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator
and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award
winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother
Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam
champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS &
this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this
unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she
finds the passion & the interest.
This is my third post (of 31!) for the October Ultimate Blog Challenge.
Watch challenge posts which will include Writing Prompts, Writing
Tips and General Life Tips and Essays.
Did you enjoyed this essay? Receive emails directly to your
inbox for Free from Julie Jordan Scott via the
Daily Passion Activator. One inspirational essay and
poem (almost) every week day. Subscribe here now -
Today’s Autumn Blog Challenge Prompt – Perfect! Sept 26-How to be a
good friend
I saw this
prompt and a quiet smile crossed my face.
This week has
been so abundant in good friends. Love personified crossed my path over and
over and over again and now, I have a heart shaped scar to prove it. One of my
friends saw my scar last night and said, “Who else would get a scar shaped like
a heart but you? It is absolutely perfect!”
I was
diagnosed with melanoma two weeks ago.
Last week, it
was carefully removed from my face in the very able hands of a surgeon.
With my
friends I formed “Team Nora” (the name I gave my melanoma) with each member of
the team contributing to both my care but also the care and feeding of my
children.
Here is a
list of some of the ways they were not only good friends, but exactly what I
needed… in no particular order.
They did my MomSchlep for me. They swooped in to
pick up both Emma and Samuel and sometimes provided them after school
love-and-care both during my surgery but also after my surgery when I was
recovering. Without complaint. This is
my least favorite Mom duty and I was so grateful to be able to let it go.
They fed me. Late on Thursday night, I was cooked a
feast of scrambled eggs and brussel sprouts. It was the most delectable meal I
had eaten in the past decade. Well, at least in that moment. The primary
ingredient? Love. I had homemade soup and challah bread delivered to me. Food
Love says so much to an aching body.
They read me poetry because it was what I wanted.
They sat with me, quietly, while I slept.
They read my aftercare instructions and nagged me to
stick with them.
They helped me with wound care.
They thought of me before anything or anyone else.
They took me on rides and understood when just
driving around town wore me out, much more than I ever imagined.
Instead of saying “Let me know what I can do for
you,” they offered suggestions. When I am sick or having a hard time, half the
time I have no idea what I want.
They sat and waited while I had surgery and talked
to the doctor on my behalf. Can you imagine? PLUS they attended and will attend
follow up appointments so that I don’t miss anything. Sometimes when you are
the patient it is hard to “get” everything. I am usually the advocate. It is beyond
words wonderful to have people stand by me in advocacy.
Distant friends prayed. And added me to prayer
lists. They sent good vibes, healing energy and one friend did distance Reiki
for me and even though I don’t exactly know what that means, I am grateful to
the generous outpouring.
Love overflowed. Bountifully. And continues to flow.
I am blessed by people who are being SUCH good friends!
Have you been looking for a poetry writing challenge created within a community of poets whose goal is to encourage, inspire and share thoughts with one another? Join me at OctPoWriMo Now - only days before we begin... and a bunch of tips are on the website now to get you started!
Today – August 7, 2012 - met me in the same way a seventh grade girl, Melanie, meets her longtime crush, Joey, on the edge of the dance floor. Unsure, a bit wobbly, and slow to make a move forward, morning and I wondered at first if anything would happen or if I would pull away, refusing to believe our relationship would ever feel the same as it did when Joey and Melanie were in second grade, sitting side by side at desks in Mrs. Anderson’s classroom at Linden Avenue School.
First I poured a cup of coffee.
Second I gathered my notebook and pen and went outside.
Third I drew a random soul collage card.
Fourth, I made myself write.
Looking at the card I wrote, “I have a history of hiding under a blanket of darkness. Divinity clothes me in white when she does my bidding. I sit in the center of paradox: the this and the that, the hovering tightrope slowly unraveling, an awkward unwinnable tug-of-war and the solid cord hung firmly and the confident collaboration, singing songs of cheer upon successful completion.
I notice water droplets of water on the leaves.
Sitting here, moving my pen, being a faithful companion to my writing is key to living my story.
This dress on the little girl is so similar to what my Mom would have made me.
I want to remember Mom meant her dresses as testaments to her love for me which she wasn’t able to translate into the language you spoke and still speak. This doesn’t minimize her love.
I want to remember that earlier this Summer I learned about Wolf Lichen after mistakenly calling it “moss” after all these years.
My Rilke reading earlier was another significant companion:
From Wer seines Lebens viele Widersinne:
She who reconciles the ill matched threads
of her life, and weaves them gratefully
into a single cloth –
it’s she who drives the loudmouths from the hall
and clears it for a different celebration
These reminders pour through my hands onto the page.
I look at the collage card, I look at Rilke’s words, I write: “It feels so grand to sit on my front porch, the gentle wind feels like a zen gardener tending my forehead. Worry erased by house finch.”
Melanie holds Joey with just the right closeness as their slow dance comes to its conclusion.
She can feel his breath against her neck, his hands respectfully above her waist.
She is both naïve and knowing. She is a paradox who is a human truth in the making.
Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.
Did you enjoyed this essay? Receive emails directly to your inbox for Free from Julie Jordan Scott via the Daily Passion Activator. One inspirational essay and poem (almost) every week day. Subscribe here now -
This Summer I asked for mothering advice from two famous Hollywood Mothers.
Well, I didn’t ask them mothering advice exactly the way you might think.
These are not, after all, living Hollywood Mothers.
They are legendary Hollywood mothers who are no longer alive.
I took time beside them at monuments in their honor: Donna Reed, the first mother, at her graveside in Westwood and then Joan Crawford, at her Hollywood Walk of Fame star.
Donna Reed’s show was one of my childhood favorites. It was in reruns by the time I watched it. I loved her swishy dresses and pretty face. She reminded me slightly of my own mother, except for the wardrobe. I got older and fell in love with Mary on “It’s a Wonderful Life” via its annual showings during the holiday season.
She seems like someone everywoman would want to chat with about motherhood, about being a woman, and then after the layers of fiction were released, I would want to know about what compelled her as an artist. I might even ask her now, post life, about what she misses about being alive.
Perhaps this is something that compels me as a writer: wanting to know about death and after death. Wanting to know at the end of one’s life as an artist what sifts out as significant. What seemingly small work became what one remembers the most and what “big” project turned meaningless and why – how- where – what was up with that as it happened?
Now Joan Crawford is a completely different mothering story. I wouldn’t even think of asking her mothering advice but something in my gut brought those words to my lips as I cuddled up next to her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame last Sunday night.
Yes, as odd as it sounds, I rested on the sidewalk with her star in order to get a compelling photo. I will do almost anything creatively for art or a laugh or both. It was sincered when I heard myself whisper to Joan, “Do you have any motherly advice for me?”
She has become a mothering joke from the “Mommy, Dearest” book and film. “Wire hangers” are legendary because of her disgust for them as they played host to expensive clothing she didn’t feel her daughter, Christina, valued as she should with a more voluptuous, fabric covered hanger.
I wonder how her thoughts would change if she could speak after death. While she was living she said, "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."
What would happen once her anger and fear went away?
I poked around online, newly fascinated by these two iconic women. I discovered Donna Reed, who was a mother to four children and a “second mother “ to co-star Shelley Fabares, was also a co-founder of the Peace Activist Organization, “Another Mother for Peace”. Within the group’s beliefs is “No mother is enemy to another mother.”
What would Joan’s life as a mother been like if another mother – another woman – had reached out to her with that sort of compassionate, loving energy of “no enemies here, simply mothers caring about other mothers”?
What would happen once her anger went away?
What got in the way of her freedom from anger?
What can we, as mothers and as women, learn from how she held more tightly to anger and rage than to the love she must have felt underneath all that excess emotional warfare she fought every day.
You may be reading this thinking, “How do these two Hollywood Mothers have any relevance in my life today, anyway?”
Do you know anyone whose anger and fear tear awayen any love in a poisonous fire of contempt that kills any hope of joy they may have within them?
Perhaps this essay was written especially for you so that you may ask the questions to your friend or family member that I posed to non-living beings:
What would happen if your anger went away?
What would happen if you let go of anger and replaced it with something less destructive?
What is getting in the way of your freedom from anger?
Donna Reed might tell Joan Crawford, “When you handle yourself, use your head; when you handle others, use your heart."
When you handle your children, use your head, your heart and your arms for hugging.
Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.
Did you enjoyed this essay? Receive emails directly to your inbox for Free from Julie Jordan Scott via the Daily Passion Activator. One inspirational essay and poem (almost) every week day. Subscribe here now -
Summer Blog Challenge asked me to tell you on July 8-- "What are some song lyrics that you find some meaning in?" which brought up some surprises I had to share with you today.
I used to be one of those girls who sang everything. Any friend would make some statement or ask a question and I would respond in lyrics. I sang all the time: quality didn’t matter all that much, it was just a matter of throwing my hands in the air and singing words into the air to clutter the skies with notes that rained down on my face, and my friend’s face and upon the shoulders of anyone in listening distance.
I think I stopped doing that around the time I met my husband, way back when I was twenty years old probably about the time he noted – and I committed to memory – that my behavior on the dance floor was “goofy”. That was date #3, perhaps.
With that and perhaps other memories I chose to snip away, I stopped singing.
I read the prompt today and the words that filled my brain immediately were the unlikely “Come on baby light my fire….” The first singer I heard in my brain was Jose Feliciano, not Jim Morrison, the Doors bandmate of Ray Krieger, the guitarist who actually wrote the song.
I didn’t know it until doing some research, but this song has actually been covered many times by many (to me) unlikely people.
Erma Franklin, Stevie Wonder, Mae West!? recorded the song for her album Great Balls of Fire in 1972. Incredibly Etta James recorded it as did Minnie Riperton (with Jose Feliciano who was the original cover singer) and there was a disco version recorded by a band called Baccara.
I searched for the lyrics for more hints. What I found reminded me of the moment I heard KC (as in KC and the Sunshine Band) lamented the meaninglessness of songs of the early 21st Century.
For some reason, though, I think fire has meaning today.
I especially like this stanza:
>> The time to hesitate is through >> No time to wallow in the mire >> Try now we can only lose >> And our love become a funeral pyre
If you are unfamiliar with the term ‘funeral pyre’ it is a pile of wood on which a corpse is burned as part of a funeral ceremony in some traditions. Sounds like some kind of fun… actually, I could see having a funeral pyre for myself if my loved ones would agree to it.
So – my task for today – Sunday, July 8 – is to set the night on fire metaphorically.
I’ll let you know how that goes.
Anyone else in? Remember, the time to hesitate is through - come on baby light my fire…. (you know you want to) Try to set the night on fire…..
This is why I love blog challenges. They take you places you didn't know you would go when stretching your arms as you get out of bed in the morning. :~)
Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.
Did you enjoyed this essay? Receive emails directly to your inbox for Free from Julie Jordan Scott via the Daily Passion Activator. One inspirational essay and poem (almost) every week day. Subscribe here now -
I have given myself five minutes to write about this today because I have been procrastinating and, quite frankly, I need to give voice to this and if I don’t do so now I probably won’t say it.
Last June I stepped off the stage with a strong commitment to take a break from theater.
I think the higher level me – what some of my friends would call the higher conscious self – was aware a crash was coming. The everyday Julie didn’t know that right around the corner lurked my personal equivalent of a plane crash followed by an earthquake and fire all at once.
It was such a personal plane crash-earthquake-fire many of my closest friends and my family don’t even know about the specifics of what happened. That is how I am keeping it for now because that is what works for me.
In the last year I learned this: you just don’t dust yourself off after a plane crash, earthquake and fire. It takes time and deliberate action and sometimes you have to leave things and people you love behind while you focus on restitching the seams on your coat or restocking the refrigerator or getting the burns off the end of your hair cut into some semblance of tolerable.
Tonight is closing night for Reckless a play by Craig Lucas at the Empty Space Theater here in Bakersfield. When it comes to closing nights, I am extra… looking for the words… conscious of the “coming to an end of a collaborative work” part of it.
Since I went on my theater break last June, I have been extra careful about what I commit myself to do: I want to be sure each show fits a certain criteria. I cut myself off from audition notices and theater notices because I know I will be tempted by such things that perhaps don’t fit this criteria but I might be attracted to do, anyway.
I did two shows in March: completely insane to do, but they weren’t originally scheduled the way they ended up being scheduled. I don’t recommend anyone do simultaneous tech weeks. I was asked to audition for these plays by the Directors and I loved them and the people involved with them very much but it was like not eating for months and then having a mammoth chocolate Sunday as your first meal.
I withdrew again.
My friend, Michelle, asked me if I was going to audition for Reckless and I said no. I was on a break from auditioning. I needed space, I couldn’t do the theater thing right now, I told her. Sometimes life helps us make the right choices even when we plan for something else.
The director of Reckless, my dear friend Bob, wrote me an email after the initial read through of the play, wondering if I would be willing to take a very small role in it because one of his actors had dropped out. He mentioned the part I would play and I asked about dates for the play and lo and behold the pieces snapped into place.
Michelle, my friend who wanted me to audition in the first place, became my scene partner. Every night we step into the alley behind the theater and work through our scene. Every night we do this just to insure our confidence is high and to work out any marble-mouthed kinks in our performance.
There have been so many bonuses with this show: I not only play a ridiculously fun character, I looked forward to be in a cast with people who I enjoy. And now, as we close, I enjoy them even more than when we started. This is rare for me.
Tonight I will step off the same stage I stepped off from last June. I am a much stronger version of the-me-back- then. I feel better than I have in at least six years or seven years.
This version of me gives herself space to say, “I hurt when endings come and go. I hurt to know I may never see these people again and in fact probably will never see these same people assembled again. It hurts to let go of the collaboration we created here.”
The gentle-strong me doesn’t like that.
The gentle-strong me knows it is inevitable.
The gentle-strong me is beyond words grateful to be able to create and feel and have one last audience to perform for tonight.
The gentle-strong me is still not looking for auditions. I’ll sit it out until another Director calls me and says, “Hey, are you able to…….?”
If it fits, I’ll commit my whole self to whatever character I am privileged to play.
Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.
Did you enjoyed this essay? Receive emails directly to your inbox for Free from Julie Jordan Scott via the Daily Passion Activator. One inspirational essay and poem (almost) every week day. Subscribe here now -
I love prompts that ask us to look right in the near past rather than from a long, long time ago. I enjoy walks down my memory, but oftentimes I don’t give myself credit for the right now… so with that…join me and consider what three things YOU are proud about from the past few days?
Three things I am proud of from the last few days:
I ran two successful Writing Camps at Bakersfield College’s Delano Campus. The students wrote haiku, freewrote, learned about Rainer Rilke, Alice Walker, Laura Esquivel. We practiced writing in Objective and Meaningful language. There was a lot of interaction and fun was had by (almost!) everyone. Yes, guy in the second row, I saw you dozing off. I forgive you! I have to admit, sleeping students DO make me kick my game up a notch. I am proud I did.
I attended (and enjoyed!) a SoulCollage workshop. I had been resisting for months because I had tried the process on my own. I didn’t get what all the fuss was about. Naturally I loved it. I created a whole bunch of cards and plan to go for Open Studio to make more. I got over my resistance and created some great art. Yay!
I didn’t lose my temper once, even when there were a couple ripe situations for me to do so. This is definitely something to be proud about, especially when a tired Samuel did typical tired Samuel behaviors. :~)
So – Beloveds! Tell me three things you are proud of from the last few days.
Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.
Did you enjoy this essay? Receive emails directly to your inbox for Free from Julie Jordan Scott via the Daily Passion Activator. One inspirational essay and poem (almost) every week day. Subscribe here now -
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