I almost didn’t want to respond to the question from the project reverb team. My first thought, in fact, was to ignore it.
Then I decided I would go ahead and take it on, anyway.
When did I feel beautiful this year?
I didn’t.
Pretty simple. In fact, this year I felt decidedly ugly most of the time (and those of you who are compelled to comment saying "Oh, you are lovely" or anything similar, please control that compulsion and simply be with the words here.)
This could be considered one of my trademarks. I do not consider myself conventionally attractive at all. I have always been one of those who relies heavily on personality, humor, intelligence and curiosity to attract and keep people interested.
I am frankly pretty shocked if people ever tell me otherwise.
I have worked on the #365feministselfie project this year, taking selfies nearly every day. I like to look passable, but beautiful? Never even remotely in my thought.
And that’s ok. Truly.
In fact, this fits with the “release” prompt from Kat McNally in her reverb prompting.
What shall I release this year? (The original prompt from Kat McNally was about unfinished projects to release. I have been focusing on "letting go" for a few months now and it has become something of a sacred process and very different from when I started. Nonetheless, unfinished projects did not make their way here. Maybe I'll write of that later this month!)
I release my need to proclaim myself as anything other than what I believe I am. Beautiful! On the inside, in my heart, in my mind.
On the outside? Quirky. Expressive. Cherishable.
Whoa. That hit something in me.
I am cherishable on the inside and out. My scars, my "less thans", my simple "I am who I ams"....are all cherishable.
That means so much more to me than beautiful right now.
(and this, my loves, is the beauty of responding to reflective writing prompts!)
This post was inspired by Reverb: most specifically the prompt from Kat McNally. You may follow along as well. Visit Kat's World at "I Saw You Dancing" and receive the prompts by email and plug into the extraordinary group of writers pondering, reflecting and taking action daily throughout the month of December.
Julie Jordan Scott is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people's creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming Fall and Winter, 2014 and beyond.
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