“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” – Audre Lorde
I realized something surprising in the moments between rising from my desk and drinking my first sip of coffee.
It went like this:
I got up from my desk where I planned to write, walked into the kitchen and poured my second cup of coffee of the day into my pinecone-themed coffee mug. As the coffee filled the cup, the a-ha filled my in-breath.
“I make the most progress when I don’t have a clue what I’m doing AND I start anyway.”
Back at my desk I capture this moment with words and lean back to stretch.
“Yes. That’s it. I know, I will make an image with an Audre Lorde quote on it.”
Wait. What happened between those moments?
Why didn’t I keep writing about my a-ha? I love Audre Lorde, but why didn’t I stay with this a-ha which felt so rich the scent of coffee intermingled with my delightful insight?
Why did I decide to suddenly divert my attention into an image editing process rather than stay in the luscious stretch, the a-ha and the joy of leaping into what some might call “The infinite abyss of unknowing” which I prefer to think of as the “ ‘What the hell am I doing this for’ zone of complete fear!”
This is what happens when I give my inner narrator reigns over my writing and the disease of “What other people want from me” turns my head away from what my intuition says is right and good and holy.
This is how my attention veers off course.
Am I afraid of the words that want to be said, the words I have yet to identify so I am not clear whether they are dangerous or not?
Words are unforgivably powerful and yes at times may seem as destructive as tsunamis. Words have ended friendships and marred futures that once seemed impossible to break.
This is where in the first draft I veered off into a discussion of my image and wound up singing a song/poem by an early 20th century poet which I then had to write about as well.
My mouse and I go searching for the a-ha.
“I make the most progress when I don’t have a clue what I’m doing AND I start anyway.”
“I make the most progress when I don’t have a clue what I’m doing AND I start anyway.”
“I make the most progress when I don’t have a clue what I’m doing AND I start anyway.”
What becomes obvious to me, writing prompter that I am, is this could be used as a prompt for when people feel stuck:
“I make the most progress when…..” (and write for 5 minutes, brain dump style, stream of consciousness… pencil moving across the page, no editing as you go just pour the words out like the coffee poured into my mug….)
and what comes next?
My heart tells me “take aligned action” is what comes next.
I make the most progress when I sit back down, revisit what I’ve written and take aligned action.
Look over your writing.
Sit with it a moment, without allowing the distractions take you in unexpected or seemingly intriguing directions.
Stay here now.
What aligned action will move you in the direction of even more progress?
Now get up and take that action.
Yes. I mean it. Right now, get up and take that aligned action.
Later, come back and share or if you must, document as you go.
The smile now wraps across my face.
Eureka! A-ha! That’s it!
In this moment, I make the most progress when I sit down, undistracted and take aligned action.
Press “Publish.”
Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people's creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in soon!
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