(This post is inspired by Amanda Smith's Spark Within Me August Blog Challenge. <-- Click the link to participate with us now!)
What do I miss?
I miss my children being little. I miss who I was when they were little.
I miss the goofy things they did, I miss the play at the park.
I miss the unabashed hugs.
(Maybe I should invite Emma into my room with me, I am sitting on my bed with my lap top across my lap on the “desk” I made from a repurposed cabinet door from the Habitat for Humanity Restore. Maybe she should like that?
I miss their crazy patriotism, the flag waving and grand old flag singing before nihilism and ornery teen aged hood set in. Granted, we have some pretty boisterous conversations now but sometimes I would just love to go to a petting zoo or cut out paper dolls or talk about what they want to do in second grade because in second grade things are still so magical.
Mommy hasn’t had cancer yet.
The malaise of middle age hasn’t arrived.
I don’t feel so tapped out and tired.
What do I miss?
The purity of optimism, which I still connect to in daily sunrises and blank notebook pages.
What do I miss?
Believing in myths and stories we continue to tell – where the truth is in the love of the story perhaps not all the character.
My Godson still believes, or pretends to, and I get to spend time with him.
What do I miss?
Not knowing life is tough, that parents are fallable, that the red white and blue is sometimes red white and wrong.
What do I love now?
Watching my once little kids become adults, watching them have independent thoughts, shared interests, divergent interests, and feeling their love for me even if they are doing their best to not let it show.
I’m ready for new-ness again.
It’s almost back to school. I missed a pencil sharpener last week and I bought one today.
See how that “missing stuff” works? Right around the corner, the unwistful appears.
What do you miss?
What newness are you welcoming?
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Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people's creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in early Summer and beyond.
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