I remember when Samuel and I walked away from his school when he was in the first grade. It wasn’t working at the school, I said, and we would figure it out together. I couldn’t understand what the problem was but the educators didn’t seem open to collaborating beyond insisting I was an inept parent, even though these same educators had seen my parenting skills with my highly successful daughters.
Less than three hours later I googled “sensory overload” due to the coincidental meeting of an occupational therapist at the counter in the office at Samuel and Emma’s school earlier in the day.
I had said to her, “I think I have a problem with sensory overload” and in a moment of insight that would change the rest of my life I said, “I think my son has it, too.”
Google gave me a website that explained the symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome and perfectly described my little boy. I called my mother crying – grief stricken and relieved I had uncovered what was plaguing Samuel and never realizing the challenges on the horizon.
Today Samuel is a thriving, goal directed high school freshman who is driven to succeed in college prep and advanced classes. Recently a friend of mine who I’ve known for four months said to me, “Wait – Samuel has autism? I didn’t know that –“ and I said, “I don’t think of him as ‘autistic’ I think of him as Samuel.”
Yet in retrospect I wish, oh how I wish, I had known more about autism when Samuel was a little boy.
I promised one of my friends on periscope I would share a scope on World Autism Awareness Day. I wanted to share my thoughts and I didn’t want to share my thoughts.
I drove to the bluffs several blocks from my home. I got out of my car and knew, just knew, I needed to watch the sunset with my periscope friends. I could talk about Samuel, I could offer a visual writing prompt, I could feed my soul and perhaps offer a moment of thought and reflection to people who ambled past ever live or via the periscope video.
Samuel and I share our home now, just the two of us. It is a different life. I spend less time in social occasions or at the theater. It continues to be an adjustment.
Throwback: Samuel and I used to make Videos together.This was made eight years ago, four months after my discovery and a month before he went back to school to finish the first grade.
He continues to teach me.
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