For this year's August Moon, I will be writing for five minutes stream of consciousness style on the prompts offered and post whatever shows up. I will be traveling for a good portion of the time (could it be more perfect?) so I will share as consistently as possible.
Today, Day 1:
We tend to want to remember the good stuff – the bright and light and airy – and I’ll confess I spend more time wallowing in the less-than stuff. I don’t like to thinking of it as an “either/or” thing or a “good/bad” thing or even “light/dark” thing.
I can’t see well in the dark. I wait for my eyes to get accustomed to the dark and I think it is actually the fear that blinds me more than the actual density of darkness to light.
I am coming upon a time of transition I have been dreading for as long as I can remember. I am excited and I am petrified. In a few days I will be in the midst of it and even now the labor-pains have started. This is no longer Braxton-Hicks, these are like those early labor pains that feel like menstrual cramps we insist can’t be labor pains because they have yet to be agonizing but again, it is fear that makes our labor worse than it might be if we chose to work with it, be with what is instead of getting angry or making the whole thing another example of what is wrong with the world and with us.
We start in the darkness.
The new moon.
Have you ever looked up at a new moon sky in a place devoid of light pollution? It is blindingly dark at our feet but when we look up the heavens are so bright and so teeming with light it is nearly unfathomable and yes, we are definitely connected to the infinite.
One time I had to walk into such darkness without a clear clue of where I was going and I allowed myself the luxury of just walking into it. I chose to forget I was afraid of the dark and found my way through people who looked like monks, praying silently, and I walked slowly and equally silently, praying my journey would bear fruit.
It did.
I need to remember this memory in those moments when I slap the label “afraid of the dark” on my forehead.
I need to remember the forgetting and use its strength to create what is coming next.
Process notes:
My writing practice informed this stream of consciousness writing. This morning I added some art journaling to the mix. I am working to make faces lately, more interesting faces than I have in the past. I am developing my drawing/sketching/art journaling voice. It engages me differently.
As I step into this next phase I realize I may need more of the non-language rather than language time. It is all important. It is all process. It is neither inherently good nor bad. Writing and art practice isn't about making meaning, it is about making progress via process - "moving the pencil" so that whatever meaning is lurking may be heard once the practice time has ended.
Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people's creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in Fall, 2015 and beyond.
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