This morning I uploaded yet another of my ridiculous youtube videos and I waited dutifully while the screen said, “Your video is being processed.”
Sometimes I want to speed it up before I lose my nerve and decide not to post my silliness at all, even if that silliness might actually be a blessing to some viewer out there I may not even know exists.
I was reminded of a mantra I have been using lately in order to keep myself from getting upset about circumstances I cannot control, especially circumstances I have no business thinking I can control them.
“It is her process,” I remind myself. “It is his process” I chant. “It isn’t your process, it belongs to her/him, not me.”
It isn’t always instant and I do always feel at least a little bit better and a little bit more detached from whatever was bothering me even moments earlier.
Best of all, you may follow your own version of this method which I have outlined here, step-by-step, for you to try on and make your own.
- Every person we engage with is working through her or his own process. We may be a part of that process, but the process doesn’t belong to us just like another person will never “belong” to us. The sooner we learn this (and act this way) the happier we will each and all be.
- People’s actions are about them, not about you. People don’t do things “to you” instead you make their actions mean something to you. Think about this one, let it grow and wiggle inside your belly. Don’t just blurt your opinion but think about whatever it is that really bugged you that someone did and instead of thinking about how they wronged you, contemplate (and maybe create some art or do a free right) about your own process regarding the facts of what took place.
- Step back. Take a breath. Don’t respond until you feel more centered and more focused, more mindful. Re-engage with the person only when you know you will be able to respond and communicate from a clear, open, non-judgmental and loving place. This is YOUR process now. Your stuff, your ways of being you. Stand up for your process and simultaneously allow your friends, loved ones, children, employees and employers the respect they deserve in their own process.
Happiness is here when we learn what is ours to shape and form and what isn't ours to shape and form. This is one of my continual life lessons. My intent and prayer is this simple blog post may help you in your relationship (with yourself, your children, your friends, your loved ones) adventures as well.
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Julie Jordan Scott inspires people to experience artistic rebirth via her programs, playshops, books, performances and simply being herself out in the world. She is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy-extraordinaire and mixed-media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people's creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming in Spring, 2015 and beyond.
To contact Julie to schedule a Writing or Creative Life Coaching Session, call or text her at 661.444.2735.
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