The prompt from Mama Kat goes something like this:
"Have you ever felt life was getting in the way of a big goal? Write about it..."
Well, actually I think the goal of the prompt was for someone to write one of those great and inspiring "look what I did even when my life completely sucked and I became an incredible success and yes, you low lifes down there may now become successful too, especially if you'll buy this whatzamajig filled with 1,001 surefire killer jealously guarded secrets to make your (whatever the heck thing you are working on) the best ever and you, too, can be a wild millionairess like me! I mean, just look at this gorgeous Land Rover and the smiling faces on my three blonde children!"
Maybe I'm taking it a bit to the extreme.
Maybe I'm taking the question just a little bit too personally and I am letting my inner snark (have I mentioned how much I abhor that word?) take over the keyboard.
I am writing this on my friend's computer because my power is off. By the end of today my eighty-year-old house should have power up to today's standards, but the guy doing my electrical has been so much less than efficient (and thoughtful and tidy) I am not sure anymore of anything.
It is almost three weeks after what was supposed to be a two-day job. The electrician I originally hired is the father-in-law of the guy who has been doing the work. I completely understand wanting to endow your kin with a trade, but this whole process has been so much more painful and downright in-my-face-with-inconvenience than I bargained for in the first place.
The good news is I started back with my writing practice (morning pages) and I am making art again. I thought this might take the edge off of my near hysteria so goals might seem slightly attainable once again but so far I'm still one step away from my heart bursting through my chest with fear and worry constantly.
Maybe its a step and a half away: it isn't as if such a thing is quantifiable, after all.
Back to the prompt: I'm going to continue to step forward. My goal is bigger than this bump in my road. I know once I get all the interior work done (yes, my walls have been torn up and now need a replastering and a repainting) I will be so grateful for a new looking eighty-year-old house, but for now it just seems like a huge clutter pile of goal upon goal upon goal of other-people's-goals rather than the ones my heart really wants me to take with my one-of-a-kind passionate sort of vibe.
I'm going to keep my focus on getting what needs to be done right now and right next, so that I can be where I want to be in September. This may mean painting and cleaning and clearing away construction debris and all that will lead back to where I want to be.
I can do this, I've got this, to borrow from the Little Engine that Could, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..."
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I'm grateful I found the prompt. Thank you to Teresa at Embracing the Spectrum for linking on Twitter today. I really needed to find this prompt! And Mama Kat, naturally. I'm glad I found my way back to your link up.
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Julie Jordan Scott is a writer, performance poet, Mommy and mixed-media artist. Coming soon - more creativity camps, playgrounds and workshops to grow yourself artistically (and hey, just for fun!)
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