My plan for this series of prompts is to write from them right before I go to sleep,
almost like a closing written prayer for the day. Our Reverb12 host from Australia is Kat from I Saw You Dancing.
She asks:
How am I starting?
I am starting with an open heart and an open mind. I am
starting with joy and hope.
I am starting with smudges of fear across my cheek. I am
starting with tendrils of anxiety between my eyebrows.
I have been “reverbing” in some form or fashion since BestO9
I believe it was initially called. I really should go back and see what I said
on Day One for the last few years. I have it all here – but you know what I
just realized?
I am starting with a white canvas. With December 1, 2012 waiting for me to live my way to
loving each question and reaching out to as many of you as I possibly can and
hoping, praying, wishing you will reach back.
I am starting with a bucket of anticipation, lots of paints
and crayons and fabric and pages from old books I have painted and are waiting
for further reflection.
I am wearing a smock so my “regular clothes” won’t get
dirty. My regular clothes in this exact moment are a nightgown and bloomers. I
feel very Victorian. I plan to close each night with one of these prompts,
since they are coming from Australia so they I am writing into the future,
truly.
I am starting with walking shoes on my feet, a camera in my
pocket and a pencil and notebook in my hands.
I have participated in end of the year reviews since 2009 with a group of online friends, some old some new some in between. This year, like last, there were many options of prompts to choose from each day.
Depending on which prompt I write about, you will see the badge or header from that prompter. Click on the Reverb12 images to see what those particular blogs have to offer.
Now:
Encapsulate the year
2012 in one word. Explain why you choose that word.
I started 2012 with
my word focus being INTIMACY. I don’t mean sexual intimacy, I meant diving into
everything more deeply. I wanted to stretch less wide and more deep. I wanted
to come to know myself and those I love better.
I should congratulate myself because I did exactly that
though not in ways I might have intended if I had a magic mirror or something
similar. Nonetheless, dealing with challenges with my children, with my health
via melanoma, and shifting mostly out of theater after years doing upwards of
six or eight or ten shows or more, I have tended to closeness.
I have more close friends now than before and in some of
those friendships there have been rocking and rolling and learning and sewing,
metaphorically. I have also ended some friendships or perhaps “let go” of some
friendships would be a better way to describe it. Letting go has given me room to become
intimate with others: those whose friendships I continue to savor.
I became more intimate with the chilling fear of melanoma. I
remember when I answered the phone as I walked out of the office at my son’s
school. The biopsy results were eight days of waiting. I was shocked when my
doctor said “Its melanoma.” My daughter almost lost it: she had a belief I
would die, no matter what. I am still dealing with leftover fear and fear that
can be traced directly to this experience. I’m giving myself permission to
continue with growing more intimate with this different variety of fear.
Now, imagine it's one
year from today, what would you like the word to be
that captures 2013 for you?
GROWTH is my word for
2013 with a sub theme “Adding to the Increase” which I used in the program 42
Days of Passionate Prosperity I created close to ten years ago.
I want to continue growing – in a variety of ways.
I want to grow my creative life and writing coaching
business, I want to grow in my publishing endeavors, I want to grow my
audience, I want to help my children grow, I want the intimate friendships I
have continue to grow, I want my financial abundance to grow, I want to grow and
sprout and take deep root… you get the drift I am sure.
Isabelle Eberhardt said,
“For now it seems that by advancing into unknown territories, I entered into my
life.”
I found this quote and it seems like I perfect fit. I want
to grow comfortably in discomfort so that I may move into new territories I don’t
even know right now.
Watch on my blog as I continue to develop this theme
throughout the year.
Hooray for Growth: Adding to the Increase throughout 2013
and beyond.
I wanted to write a fantastic, tying all this art together
sort of post for the final day of Art Every Day Month, though I am a creator
one day and poster the next so I will actually post whatever work I do today
tomorrow… but when I woke up this morning, I thought… there is nothing more
perfect than posting my work-in-progress assemblage I began during Thanksgiving
weekend and actually started to build last night.
This is the first time I have made an unprompted assemblage…
you know, I had collected material and I knew I wanted to do something with
them. Last night it all started to come together.
I started last week with collecting and writing.
When I packed my things, I tucked these treasures from the
sea in my fisherman’s cap and waited. I waited. I waited. I wanted to feel
something before I started.
Last night I had been sitting at my computer writing and
networking, networking and writing. I needed a break before a twitter party and
quick writing sprint.
I found a foundation – a simple wooden salad bowl. But I
needed to paint it. I brought it inside the house to dry and promptly dropped
it on my kitchen floor. Creating can be such a difficult mistress.
There was paint on my floor but I immediately grabbed a mop
and cleared it up.
It was time for the assembly to begin. I built it on a piece
of cardstock which I will cut and cover when it is complete. This was such fun –
I wish you could smell it. The rock on top is a heart shaped rock I picked up
as a memory of my dear friend Tom.
So simple, yet so just right – just as Art Every Day Month
has been this year.
Thank you so much for being here with me. I’m counting on
the Monday check in for Creative Every Day – I don’t want my momentum to slow
at all.
YOU ROCK!! Congratulations, woot woot TA-DA! And all the
rest. Please keep on touch via twitter and facebook (see below) or ofcourse on the weekly checkins.
THANK YOU, Leah! I have loved continuing this process. It just keeps getting better!
We are a flash mob of folks spend five minutes all writing on the same topic and then share ‘em at LisaJoBaker.com.
Words from my five minutes on....
WONDER
Wonder.
I have absolutely no idea what direction to go.
And that makes me want to cry because it mirrors much of my
life lately. I want to be in a space of wonder like I have been in the past,
but it seems like since I have been dealing with the melanoma I have lost the
capacity for wonder.
I’m trying so hard to be a good mother, a good friend, a
contributor to my community, but somehow every day I feel like my wound is
growing deeper, both physically and metaphorically.
I wish I could look at my scar/wound with wonder, but fear
sits on top of my ear, gazing down at my wound as it isn’t healing correctly so
says my doctor. The spot where the melanoma lived the deepest in my face has
had some “stitch malfunction” a very medical term and now there is an amoeba
looking spot on my wound that changes almost daily.
I was told three weeks ago we would wait for six to eight
weeks and then look again, if there isn’t improvement, more surgery will be
needed.
More surgery.
I could so easily spout trite stuff here. Part of me feels
really guilty for not being able to leap into the bible verses like I used to,
you know Romans 8:28 and all that, but I wonder how on earth I am supposed to
see the good in this right now?
I hear about cancer survivors who are so enrapt with life
afterwards, but perhaps it is because I still feel like I am in limbo that I
just can’t manage it anymore. I just can’t do it.
I want to be in a space of wonder, it is Christmas time. I
need to be able to “perform” as if wonder is surrounding me or even nod to wonder. I think I pull it
off in front of the kids most of the time, but just now I’ve been sitting here
typing away sobbing with my face as still as possible and the salt just stuck
to my eyeballs because I don’t want my daughter, who is having her own personal
tough time, to know how bad I am feeling.
I’m a few minutes over, but I suppose one moment of wonder
in the past week was when I was feeling so alone and God reached out and put
his arm around me and reminded me he is my heavenly father all the time. He
partners with me on my projects, he shines the flashlight when I can’t see.
He will show me the way back to wonder.
TIMER sang four minutes ago. I needed to wipe my eyes and blow my nose.
Once again, I’m done with my Friday Five ~ I'll look forward to seeing all you beloveds in 2013.
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. 2. Link back here and invite others to join in. 3. And
then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the
person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.
Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this
community..
Julie Jordan Scott
has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator
and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award
winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother
Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam
champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS &
this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring
this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people
wherever she finds the passion & the interest.
Did you enjoyed this essay? Receive emails directly to
your inbox for Free from Julie Jordan Scott via the
Daily Passion Activator. One inspirational
essay and poem (almost) every week day. Subscribe
here now -
I bet the very creative among you will recognize yourselves
in my words today.
I can’t even tell you how often this happens to me: the car behind me honks to startle me awake
from solving all the world’s problems or writing my shopping list or
deciphering last night’s dream. Does
this ever happen to you? Sometimes I am thinking about how to help my children
lead their best lives or what I will cook for dinner or trying to remember the
details of a story from long ago.
My mind leaps from thought to thought to thought and all of
a sudden the car behind me honks,
frustrated because I didn’t leap to go through the intersection because the
light just barely turned green.
Actually, in these cases I have no idea how long the light
has been green because I am too lost in reverie about whatever is happily
holding my thoughts so attentively.
Last night on the way home from an event at the Art and
Spirituality Center where I created from a whole new-to-me version of Hansel
and Gretl, I wondered how Emily Dickinson might write a poem about a particular
intersection here in Bakersfield.
I sat in my car, looking at a street light. I thought, “How
would Emily Dickinson see this seedy neighborhood with this high powered street
lamp?”
I was having so much fun I almost didn’t see the traffic
light turn green.
Are you ready to experience the darkness on a Bakersfield
street corner with Emily Dickinson and me?
Street Light, Corner of 21st and Union
Electric orb
Sharing luminousness with the
Members of the pearly ancient profession
And the shaking, tittering loose toothed
Hungry for the next, next, next….
As well as the cars who have lost
Their way and landed
Underneath you
# # #
Think about one of your favorite characters: fictional,
historical, literary, and consider what might happen how they might experience
your life through you. Then write as that you-Emily Dickinson character or You-Cat
character or You-Green Lantern character.
Whatever it is, whichever or whoever combines with you –
have fun and write it.
Just beware of when the light turns green. The car behind
you might honk to startle you awake from your poetic word play.
Here I am, writing on the Lawn at Emily Dickinson's House in Amherst, Massachusetts
I worked more on my “Fragments” piece focusing solely on
Emily Dickinson today. She’s been on my mind a lot lately, not precisely sure
why but I am sure there are reasons. After I share my images, I will share a
poem I wrote in her style, but definitely not a topic she had to write about
when she was living.
This piece includes acrylic, snippets of ephemera,
photography and crayon.
This top image includes flowers she pressed, a handwriting
sample, poem fragments, a photo of her and the color you see underneath is my
Tempest Zentangle from yesterday.
This bottom image shows my work in progress yesterday during
a rare rain in Bakersfield, I lit candles and kept this “fragment” beside me. I
wondered at that point if it was finished… and no, it wasn’t. The photo above
shows some final touches I added. (the photo and more random ephemera.)
And finally, the poem I wrote in homage to Emily's style after wondering, "What would Emily write if she was sitting at this intersection?"
Street Light, Corner of 21st and Union
Electric orb
Sharing luminousness with the
Members of the pearly ancient profession
And the shaking, tittering loose toothed
Hungry for the next, next, next….
As well as the cars who have lost
Their way and landed
Underneath you
Thank you for visiting my Art Every Day Check in. I look forward to looking at your art, too.
Moms with special needs kids will recognize themselves in my
words here today.
I can’t even tell you how often this happens to me: the car behind me honks to startle me awake
from solving all the world’s problems or writing my shopping list or
deciphering last night’s dream. Sometimes I am thinking about how to help my
children lead their best lives. Oftentimes I am specifically thinking about Samuel's education. The next round of assessments, the IEP or whatever barrier I think may be right around the corner.
We are bombarded with advice, good intentions, and “professional-know-how”
but when it comes down to it, we teach our children from our gut more than our
intellect and we hope and pray much of the time that somehow something is
getting through.
Sometimes those prayers turn into an obsession.
Samuel has high functioning autism and is in a sixth grade general education classroom which
sometimes goes well and sometimes, like anything else in life, falls short. I made it a
point to introduce myself to the teachers earlier in the year, neither of whom
had experience to teaching children with autism.
I reminded them I never expect anyone to be an expert in my
child along with a request for us to work together in helping him become
successful.
This week Samuel’s language arts teacher sent me an email
over the weekend so I could start prepping Samuel and then working with him
throughout the week. Their writing assignment was to write a story about waking
up one day as a CAT rather than a PERSON.
At first Samuel didn’t want to do this until we started
talking about characters and how different characters impact the “what happens”
in the story.
This seemed to become a theme for me this week: it started with how to best help my son with autism in school more and turned into a different way to approach the world.
Last night on the way home from an event at the Art and
Spirituality Center we created from a whole new-to-me version of Hansel
and Gretl. This lead to me wondering how Emily Dickinson might write a poem about a particular
intersection here in Bakersfield.
I sat in my car, looking at a street light. I thought, “How
would Emily Dickinson see this seedy neighborhood with this high powered street
lamp?”
I was having so much fun I almost didn’t see the traffic
light turn green.
Are you ready to experience the darkness on a Bakersfield
street corner with Emily Dickinson and me?
Street Light, Corner of 21st and Union
Electric orb
Sharing luminousness with the
Members of the pearly ancient profession
And the shaking, tittering loose toothed
Hungry for the next, next, next….
As well as the cars who have lost
Their way and landed
Underneath you
Without question
Your work is done
# # #
Think about one of your favorite characters: fictional,
historical, literary, and consider what might happen how they might experience
your life through you.
To go deeper and more personal with your family, what might it be like to experience your life as your child?
Have you ever considered that in a creative, playful way?
Perhaps writing as your child will help you understand him or her better.
Just beware of when the light turns green. The car behind
you might honk to startle you awake from your creative parenting play.
PLEASE NOTE! Today's Passion Activator Friday will be only via Twitter feed. Check hashtag #paf1130 where I have posted my first (of many) to-do's to ta-da's! Next week, we will have both teleconferencing and twitter. See you today via the twitter feed. "Hear you" next week via teleconference!
I started the “having fun getting things done” early this
week.
It was only Monday and I was cleaning my bathroom while
clearing my dining room table, sorting my art supplies and working on a new
personal development project one after another while whistling all the way.
Last time we met Elli got through a four-month-old task she
had been procrastinating on and Marifran exceeded her expectations multifold.
Why does this happen?
Well, I believe it is because we are focusing on joy with
others, setting ourselves up to be accountable and then… letting go of attachment
to what happened.
Kimberly said, “I was feeling so serious and then Julie
said, ‘My primary intention is to have fun today…’ and I thought, Wow, what a
reminder.”
Passion Activator Friday (#PAF1130 for this week) isn’t
about competition. It isn’t even all about the stuff you get done, necessarily –
it is that you will usually get more done than usual – and you will enjoy
yourself because of the energy we all whip up together.
This time I am including a twitter hashtag so people may be
involved who for whatever reason can’t call in. Simply tweet your “to do’s” or
whatever “stuff you have to get done” and then come back and tweet what you
accomplished and how it felt. Use the hashtag #paf1130 and the rest of us will
find you.
Or call our bridge line at 605 475 4350 Pin 355994 whenever you want to hear the happy
voices cheering and sharing and laughing at :45 after each hour starting at
6:45 am Friday Pacific time and running until 2:45 pm Pacific time. My first
couple hours usually go something like this: “Drink coffee, get kids out the
door,laugh” and “”Check back packs, take a shower, keep my chin high!”
It’s hard to describe if you don’t join roll-the-PAF dice
and join us!
I’m just going to say it: this has been a great morning.
My between six-and-eight-am hours get pretty chaotic, so my
preplanning today carried me through my last minute Mommying.
Before the last rush out the door, though, I had pulled my soul
collage card for the day. I call this “My Zen Card” and basically it tells me
that even on your way to that serious, dressed up, put on a good face place you
are going in such a hurry, there is always time for rest.
Rest lives in each raising of the foot and every returning
to the ground of the same foot.
I had thought “I want to go to Dagny’s this morning!” almost
simultaneously with that, but most of the time when I have inklings like that I
wrap myself up in the fur stole belief of “Oh, I have way too many important
things to do than take an hour and hang out in a coffee shop when I could be
doing exactly the same stuff at home.
I was out of my house by 8:15 and my friend, Kimberly,
texted me and said, “Meet me at Dagny’s later?”
I was meant to go. I brought my creativity supplies because
I knew, today, I was going to create a zentangle on a dictionary page for Art Every Day Month.
My crayons spilled in the bottom of my bag so I simply
scooped them up and dumped
them on the table and started working with lines,
lines, lines.
I really want to improve my drawing from about third grade
skill to much better, so I am focusing on “line” and that’s it. I managed to
copy the coffee cup on the back of the chairs at Dagny’s and their image became
a part of my Zentangle. I circled words on my dictionary page like I do when I
have writing prompts and I alternated between writing, coloring and grading
some papers: something I do for my part time job at the local college.
I had been sitting there contentedly for two hours when Kimberly
arrived right on schedule.
I found myself wanting to put more lines on my zentangle but
I wrote these words:
I thought, “Oh, a line with black crayon around it all would
be so pretty and it would feel so very finished!” I used self control. “My
zentangle wasn’t about completion, after all,” my wise sage self reminded me. “It
is about process.”
I got up to use the restroom and when I returned, Kimberly
was using one of my crayons on her work, so I giggled and spoke my happiness at
her using my crayon. I dove right back into my crayon box and what do you
suppose I did without even thinking?
I made a black line around my zentangle.
I felt so pleased with myself when looking at my finished…. Oh,
my. I laughed at my silliness. Fewer than ten minutes ago my wise sage self had
spoken.
“My zentangle wasn’t about completion, after all. It is
about process.”
In less than ten minutes I forgot my own wisdom!
I laughed some more and I am even laughing now. How often
does that happen: we declare some thought or idea as brilliant and alas, hours
days weeks months years decades go by and we don’t follow through with that
brilliance or we act in complete opposition to it.
I know my normal response has been to beat myself up for being
so insert your favorite self effacing phrase here.
It feels so much better to laugh and learn something from it
instead. I look at my “complete” zentangle now and I enjoy it, especially
because my wise sage apparently wanted to show my impetuous youth she is still
in charge. There is one segment that does not have the finishing line upon it!
Now that, my loves, is brilliant.
The process of creating art teaches in such a subtle, loving
manner, doesn’t she?
Where have you surprised yourself with your creative process
recently?
This post was written especially for Art Every Day Month. After November, many of us continue to create daily via CreativeEveryDay.com the website from Leah Piken Kolidas. Her website is a fine way to connect, to create and to share your creations.
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