In this 31 Days I will write of mothering my tween son, my teen daughter and my on-the-verge of twenty-one daughter. So much Mommying seems to focus on the PreSchool years. I want to share some other sides of Mommying and this 31 Days gives me the perfect opportunity.
It was still dark this morning when I woke up at close to six o’clock.
I had given Samuel, my son, his usual five minute warning to get out of bed, but I knew he had been up late so instead of being a command sergeant playing reveille on her shiny trumpet, I climbed into his bed for a little morning snuggle.
I won’t be able to do this for much longer. If he didn’t have autism, I wouldn’t feel the ability to do such a normal-motherly thing. At eleven, he is much like an eight-year-old emotionally. He got tears in his eyes when I left the house Saturday to go to a five hour workshop. “I want to be with you, Mommy, I want to be with you,” he said.
It was quiet moments like those as I watched him sleep this morning. He usually isn’t one for closeness. When he goes to sleep he wraps himself in a sheet or blanket cocoon. When I climbed into his full sized bed, he unwrapped his sheet, let me slide in and went back into that lovely stage of half-awake, half-asleep early morning brings.
He put his calf against my knee.
This is enormous affection from this little boy on the spectrum. I stared at his long eye-lashes, his few sweet, still little boy like freckles and his face, so like my father, his grandfather.
It was such a serene moment.
Last night I almost tweeted something like this: “It is one of those rare nights where it feels like autism is winning. I am so aggravated!”
This morning, I said quietly, “Samuel, it’s time to get up.” And he responded, equally calm and quietly “Ok.”
He stretched his ever getting longer legs before climbing from the bed and the day began.
Moments like these are what keep me going when he is ornery and angry and refuses to eat his French fries because I forgot to put the chicken nuggets in at the right time. Even though he eats the fries first anyway, his rule and ritual says he must have chicken and fries in front of him before a single bite is taken or a single drop is sipped.
It would drive some people crazy.
It drives me deeper in love.
It was still dark this morning when I woke up at close to six o’clock.
I had given Samuel, my son, his usual five minute warning to get out of bed, but I knew he had been up late so instead of being a command sergeant playing reveille on her shiny trumpet, I climbed into his bed for a little morning snuggle.
I won’t be able to do this for much longer. If he didn’t have autism, I wouldn’t feel the ability to do such a normal-motherly thing. At eleven, he is much like an eight-year-old emotionally. He got tears in his eyes when I left the house Saturday to go to a five hour workshop. “I want to be with you, Mommy, I want to be with you,” he said.
It was quiet moments like those as I watched him sleep this morning. He usually isn’t one for closeness. When he goes to sleep he wraps himself in a sheet or blanket cocoon. When I climbed into his full sized bed, he unwrapped his sheet, let me slide in and went back into that lovely stage of half-awake, half-asleep early morning brings.
He put his calf against my knee.
This is enormous affection from this little boy on the spectrum. I stared at his long eye-lashes, his few sweet, still little boy like freckles and his face, so like my father, his grandfather.
It was such a serene moment.
Last night I almost tweeted something like this: “It is one of those rare nights where it feels like autism is winning. I am so aggravated!”
This morning, I said quietly, “Samuel, it’s time to get up.” And he responded, equally calm and quietly “Ok.”
He stretched his ever getting longer legs before climbing from the bed and the day began.
Moments like these are what keep me going when he is ornery
and angry and refuses
It would drive some people crazy.
It drives me deeper in love.
====
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Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield.
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