Today's prompt from Stream of Consciousness Sunday from AllThingsFadra.com:
Talk about fatherhood: your father, your husband as a father, yourself as a father. How important is it and the impact on our children?
I share stories about my father regularly these days. In fact, I think I got my storytelling abilities partially from the Jordan Blood. He has never been one to talk a lot, but the talking he does has always been significant.
When I was a teenish girl, my Dad drank a lot. He was or I suppose still is an alcoholic but he hasn’t had a drink since shortly after my twenty-first birthday which has been almost twenty years now. My Mom says he has elected not to remember those old days of drunken-ness.
I say more power to him. Why should he remember? He is eighty-one years old and is a completely different man than the one I was raised with as a child. I prefer to remember the man he has become than the way he acted back then.
He did the best he could, just as we all do and did.
Nowadays he loves taking my kids and me geocaching. We go out into the spaces around Flagstaff to find treasures. My children will remember this Grandpa. The one who eats picnic lunches with them in remote spots, the one who seems to know all the older people in Flagstaff, the one who cares for their Grandma who needs more care than she used to need: she has Parkinson’s now, after all.
She is doing great, but it is doubtful she would be doing so well without my Dad.
My children can’t imagine their Grandpa being the man they hear about in my stories.
I tell them it wasn’t their Grandpa, it was a different version of him, just like I was a different version of me back then. I like to think I have evolved into a more forgiving, more mature daughter who recognizes the humanity of all the people I meet.
I remember when my brother died. It was the first thing I remember doing anything remarkable or memorable for my Dad. I saw to it we honor my brother with a celebration of life. He had Down’s Syndrome so naturally didn’t have a wife or kids to be sure such a thing happened.
He did, however, have me, his older sister and also his father’s daughter.
I will forever remember Dad’s single word as I left that day – after many people gathered in the park behind our Dana Point house and shared stories. He looked at me and just said – technically three words, “Thank you, Julie. Thank you.”
Katherine, my eldest, said she was happy she stood next to my Dad during the service. He let himself be emotional, and she held his hand as he cried.
Last Summer we went on one of our picnics after a not so successful Geocaching adventure, and we talked about my childhood special days. I shared some truths about myself on one specific special day with Dad where I was scared about bears the entire time but was more scared to say anything to Dad for fear he would get mad at me for being scared.
We, all five of us – my three children, my Dad and me – laughed about that.
I’ve gone over my five minutes. I hope you’ll forgive me.
I want to say though – my heart goes out today to the men who might have been Dads if their lives had turned out differently. I always feel a special tug on this day, since I experienced so many mother’s days wishing I was a Mom before I had my children.
If you know any such men – let them know you remember them, too, today. I sent a simple status message about this on Facebook last year and wow, did I get some powerful thank you’s in response.
Follow me on Twitter: @juliejordanscot
© 2012 by Julie Jordan Scott
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
- Link up your post at AllThingsFadra.com
- Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.
Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.
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