Today's theme and optional prompt from AllThingsFadra.com:
What is success to you and how will you know when you achieve it?
This was another case where I saw the prompt, deemed it important and promptly walked away. After doing my best to earn my award for Mom of the Millenium, I sat at the keyboard and willed myself to write. Here's what popped up.
I didn’t feel up to talking about success in this my third day of not feeling well.
Success? Right now it would feel like waking up and being pleasant.
Right now I am not feeling pleasant. Not only that, but there is some stress burrowing under my eyebrows. I know this because my left eye is twitching and I have been peeling my finger nails. In fact, I have been peeling them so much that right now some of them are hurting.
I feel like I would be better prepared to say what success ISN’T than what success IS.
I have been going through yet another rebirthing lately. Each time I experience rebirthing I figure, “This is it! I’ve found it, I’ve discovered the me I was meant to be and now I can just lean back with my laurel crown jauntily on my head and have gorgeous young men who look and dance like Channing Tatum not only feed me grapes and fan me, but also find me to be unbelievably attractive, hanging on every word I say and granting my every wish.
So far none of that has happened, though. I get kicked and fall and as I brush myself off, an a-ha or awakening pops up.
What is success?
I could have told you at one time. Maybe last week I could have told you.
There is a big part of me that is sticking to the usual story: success comes to me when I actively play a part in the positive transformation of the world. Success is using my personal gifts and talents to better the planet. Success is stretching myself today more than I stretched myself yesterday. Success is being comfortable wherever I show up. Success is being willing to ask the uncomfortable questions and take the wiggly, wobbly actions that get more sure footed with more practice.
Success isn’t a number or a destination or a feeling of ego-ic “See, I told you so, now worship me, plebians!” experience.
Success is more and less than that.
I will know when I get there by a feeling in my feet, my chest, my face, my scalp. I have had this feeling before: pure contentment and confidence, even if frightened.
Success is writing into what I don’t know. In saying, “I can’t answer this” and then answering it.
Success comes to me when I actively play a part in the positive transformation of the world.
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
- Link up your post at AllThingsFadra.com
- Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.
Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She teaches a teleclass/ecourse "Discover the Power of Writing & Telling Engaging, Enlightening Stories" which begins again May 19, 2012. Find details by clicking this link.
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