Dawn hasn’t arrived yet, I notice as I look out my window. The door to this day is creaking open, slowly. I don’t feel up to contemplating my “under the radar” choices, so instead I will remember what happened last night. I will remember what I did right.
I knew a couple things: I wanted to connect with community, and my friends and fellow bloggers who participate in the weekly Comment Hour have never failed to provide me a “pick me up” when I am feeling less than amiable.
I sat at my desk and connected yet the malaise wasn’t leaving my face, my shoulders, even my typing fingers. As the hour came to a close, I realized I needed to be outside. I needed to go where I could watch the sun leave for the day. I needed to move, to take all this inner rumbling on a field trip.
Here is when what happened became unexpected: My simple tweet, “I am going to go for a walk on the bluffs” brought unexpected responses.
"Sounds wonderful!" and "I'm feeling totally jealous right now of your walk along the bluffs!" and "I need bluffs in my life right now!" were among the immediate responses.
Samuel wanted to ride his bike so it wasn't a time of completely solo walking and thinking, but I also knew with Samuel along I couldn't cop out at the last minute. That happens sometimes when I am feeling as low as I was feeling last night: I decide to do something but at the last minute, I don't have the oomph to put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes that "one foot" comes disguised as someone else, helping me to move along.
Do you have circumstances like that, where you buddy up either on purpose or by coincidence, in order to get things accomplished?
Sometimes that someone may be a child or a dog or a neighbor who needs a ride to work.
In this case it was my ten-year-old son who wants to ride his bicycle as much as he possibly can. He wants to practice and prove to me he is ready to ride to school.
Yesterday was one of those ridiculously long days where I didn’t get to do anything I wanted – or needed – to do and instead, I ran around doing my best firefighter impression possible, putting out everyone else’s fires.
I could easily say this wasn’t my choice.
I could argue I look terrible in red so why would I elect to be a firefighter?
Maybe I was avoiding the work that I was meant to do because somehow the chaos of working for others and the uproar it causes later for me is something so familiar to me that it feels easier and better, somehow, on a subconscious level.
Intuitively I had sat at my keyboard feeling less than optimal and knew in order to feel better I had to do something - anything - differently.
I knew Samuel would be thrilled to watch the sunset with me while riding his bike.
I knew even when there were barriers after I made this choice that even going for the slightest amount of time would make me feel better and clearer headed if I had the right attitude.
1. I made the definitive choice and declared it: "I am going on a walk on the bluffs because I need it for my body and my spirit."
2. I received encouragement from my community.
3. I invited my son to join me as even more motivation and increasing my likelihood to follow through, even if my decisiveness wavered.
4. I didn't allow other people to become barriers to what I wanted to experience: an increased level of peace. A moment of contemplation amidst a stressful time.
5. I did it. I took the walk. I did more than just talk about it.
The sun has made its face known as I have typed this for you. I am still not sure whether today will be any brighter than I felt yesterday, but I was proactive even without the insurance that "everything will be better." I feel better for taking action, just like you can.
You might not have bluffs where you live. You might not have a community to cheer you on, but you do have your spirit. You do have your own reasons. You are important enough to make the choice, take the action and follow through ~ perhaps later today, this weekend or maybe even right now.
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© 2011
Julie Jordan Scott
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