Today's Sunday Stream of Consciousness post (which I write weekly thanks to Fadra of All Things Fadra.com) popped out of me today in response to a slice of a conversation yesterday... or more like a statement someone said about me. Its funny when these moments come up and I feel like I have to defend myself or... I am trying to think of a word scholarly Christian's use to prove what they say is right. It isn't coming to me... thanks to Google I remember it is called apologetics:
Merriam Webster tells me "apologetics" means:
>> systematic argumentative discourse in defense (as of a doctrine)
This post is a very rough draft or "seed starter" of Julie's Apologetics of Her Life, Lived Passionately
Yesterday a friend of mine said with disdain, “You are addicted to a lot of things,” after I mentioned, with happy matter-of-factness, “I am addicted to foursquare… I even wrote and performed a poem about it last week.”
Somehow her saying "You are addicted to a lot of things," with disdain made me rise up to defend my many addictions.
“It isn’t so much being addicted as it is living with passion, with being fully alive.”
Another person in the room said, “How cool!” when hearing of my poetic take on my social networking meets geography passion meets my poetry lust meets my continual performance practice.
I strode across the room and joined a different conversation, putting my back toward my passion-disdaining friend. She probably doesn’t even know I was miffed by her assessment. The thing is she is welcome to her disdain, I just don’t want it to shed onto me.
I remember when I lived a flat life, when passion was undercover or more like way underneath my surface. It may have been shouting but it was so far below my consciousness (*which was mostly living unconsciously) I couldn’t hear a thing.
Photos from that time include me looking half asleep most of the time.
I forgot music, I forgot to buy cheese to put on my sandwiches, I forgot to laugh heartily.
I forgot me.
My passions and “addictions” remind me I am fully, wholly, ridiculously and unabashedly me whether I am doing water aerobics with my daughters and a whole swimming pool full of elderly people or sitting watching the sunset with a notebook and pencil filling my hands or lying underneath a tree, snapping a photo of the tree’s heart.
There is no room for disdain when I am devoted to live the way I choose to live.
I choose to live completely alive and awake with passion squirting from my willing to break and willing to shake and willing to grow heart.
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
- Link up your post below.
- Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.
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