Continuing Her Work: Giving Women the Opportunity to Grow

"The basis of my work with women is to open them up to other things, give them new tools, give them new capabilities...give women the opportunity to grow..."

Myriam Merlet

 
Sometimes it takes me longer to write about things than I think it should. Sometimes I convince myself it will be too painful to write of certain topics. "I am still too close, it is still too raw, I need it to cook for a while" (until I get comfortable speaking what is so.)

I wasn't ready to research Myriam or write about what it feels to perform the monologue in her memory.

The conversations I have been having with the women who have watched the words of Eve Ensler take form through my sharing have finally nudged me to speak, anyway, even when the tenderness I feel makes me nervous to speak.

Simone said it last night, "I don't even know who this Myriam is, but when I heard you, I felt so sad..."

This morning I googled Myriam to dive more deeply into who she was so that I could hold her as I spoke of her through Eve Ensler's eyes. I found a photo that looked just as I had envisioned her during my monologue. I read her words and felt as if I was reading my own words. She and I, kindreds. There was that warm flush of "I knew it, I knew her, I know her" as I read.

This VDay season has been a challenging one for me on many levels. A project I was going to bring to life is not being brought to life. This causes me profound and as of yet still unspeakable pain. Part of the reason it is not being brought to life is directly connected to calendars and miscommunication and too many great intentions and not enough space and time to honor those intentions.

I could have gotten angry, thrown up my hands and ran away, taking all my creative marbles with me. I didn't. I elected to continue to create and continue to support the cause and the women of the community. This is how the new, feminine paradigm works. It isn't catty or ugly and it isn't masculine with brutality or macho bravado. That is the old way. Look around you to see the violence that is all pervasive. It is the result of the old way of thinking, acting and believing.

 There have been many aches and pains. Emotions have been ripped and torn. Egos have been bruised. This happens during creative work. Disagreements and dismay may rule one day and the next, all is cheerful and sunshiney. The difference within the VDay movement is we learn under our feminine leaders to give one another new capabilities, as Myriam Merlet said. We learn to honor the feminine paradigm of creative process over competitive process. Granted, we are not all in the same plane with this and that is fine, too.

Last night some of us protested before rehearsal.

 
We stood on a busy street corner with signs in our hands. Together we gleefully awakened some people's minds and angered other people's minds.

One woman came by and told us we should be embarrassed by what we were doing.

I responded to my friend and fellow VDay Activist, Michelle Moreno, who posted a photo of the protest on her facebook page. There was a discussion about that "one particular woman." Here is what I said:

"I have been thinking about that one lady, Michelle. At the protest (and at VDay) we bring voice to those areas in the life of a woman that just "aren't talked about." We are about awareness and connection and speaking our voice. Today I am thinking how grateful I am that she spoke up. It is part of her path - part of her learning. Our job isn't to change anyone's mind or worry if people understand our methods. Our job is to speak with our voices, express ourselves and those who are ready to hear will be so grateful we spoke. :-) It is such a joy to share the stage (and the protest on the street corner!) with such brave, talented, courageous women. Brava, Michelle! Love wins and remember to LOVE ONE ANOTHER - even if they don't get you yet. (I remind myself of this whenever one of these people who doesn't get me says something that makes me unsure.)"

I found a prayer - essay I wrote in November after learning of the death of a dear friend. Here is a part of that prayer:

I pray when I come to die my lips will have spoken all the words that
needed to be spoken.

I pray when I come to die my fingers will have written all the words that
need to be written through me and by me. May I continue offering
guidance and inspiration. Laughter, poignance, grace, hope.

I think I am going to make myself a prayer plaque with a slightly different version of these words:

I pray when I come to the end of this day my lips will have spoken all the words that needed to be spoken.

I pray when I come to the end of this day my fingers will have written all the words that needed to be written.

When we speak with other people from a space of heart sometimes the people we speak with are the ones who get the message and sometimes it is us who get the message: continue to work. Continue to speak. Continue to be bold and courageous. Continue to seek others who are on the verge of understanding. Love those who don't understand.

Put one foot in front of the other.

Be inspired by the work of those whose bodies have left this world and whose unfinished work lives on, into continuing and completion through us.

 

 

My job now: to live well. To write well. To continue to speak until

it is all said, until all of my words are written.

 

My job now: to step across boundaries with gratitude and boldness,
with shouting and cheers.