I slept in this morning, a rarity for me. I have been on a creative blitz which culminated in the opening night of Tennessee Williams', "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof". I desperately needed some time of pure unconscious restoration. I got it. One of my first tasks after resting today was to clear space. I cleared off my primary work space and found remnants of the last seven weeks. There were threads of preparation for the Visible Poetics Art show along with the Artist Reception and the Closing Celebration. There were pieces from January's Above Resolutions Writing Camp. I found scraps of poems and my notecards of all my lines from "Cat." It felt so clear to empty my space of all this "stuff". It felt so grounding.
As a reward, I brought my laptop outdoors to my porch where I thought a torrential downpour of words would meet me.
They didn't.
It was one of those, "Where do I start?" moments where I realized I needed more rest rather than word-chatter.
That reminds me....
Yesterday I was walking along the riverbed when I saw a squirrel in my path. This squirrel refused to move as I came close. "How odd," I thought, making my footsteps louder. Still, the squirrel stayed. I made space for her to stay.
I worried she might be hurt, but I nodded my thanks to her presence, knowing she might be more significant to me than just another companion on the path.
I figured if she was hurt I would know when I came out from my quiet time by the river.
I had never in my life seen a squirrel so still, so silent, so focused.
Last week when the children and I pulled into a parking lot at the Columbia State Park, squirrels were playing in the trees above me and another squirrel scampered along the ruins of the mill at Knight's Ferry. I contemplated this as I opened my camp chair and sat, listening to the crescendo of bird song as they welcomed me to the heart of their river sanctuary.
When I got home from my quiet time at the river, I googled "Squirrel Animal Totem" and made quite a discovery.
This squirrel was speaking of balance, of giving and receiving. Of action and not-overdoing. It fit me perfectly. These past few weeks I have taken extra special care of myself as I walked toward this opening night which carried so much weight within it, much more than the norm due to the history of this production for those of us who prepared twice for the opening, the first, which never happened.
I took a full day of personal retreat for my birthday and last weekend I spent traveling with my children, adventuring and exploring ~ which is a huge treat for me.
Now it is time to balance again. To check in and make sure I am not overdoing it with my ever-so-lusty creative drive.
My cleared table space may actually stay clear, I don't need to immediately rush in and fill it with other projects.
I can elect to give myself the gift of "few words" for now. I wrote a haiku this morning. I slowly found a photo accompaniment that fit the words.
I sat here on my porch, writing this reflective piece to share with you and perhaps offer you an insight. I am logging of so that I may have lunch with former cast mate, Jessica Petrini Burzlaff ~ a belated birthday celebration. Another example of balanced connection and creative flow.
Contentment overflows.
Thank you, so much, for reading....
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