Today's Daily Post question is one I can not answer completely. I "tell on myself" all the time. It is one of my trademarks. I even use a pseudonym on occasion so that I can share stuff I wouldn't share with my own identity firmly affixed. And... there is one troubling story I can not tell as non-fiction. Here's what the prompt asked us to share: What’s the most trouble you’ve ever been in? Bonus: Tell the story of how you got into trouble, and how you got out. I got into trouble when I didn't wisely follow what my gut was telling me. I did what I said I would do that I didn't want to do in the first place. I felt kinda sorta manipulated into it and I did it anyway.
I sometimes think I should fictionalize this story because it is one I can not tell truthfully, memoir style.
My eyes were open at the time. I wasn't hypnotized or physically coerced.
I was in a rush, I wasn't thinking particularly well and kerplunk, I landed facedown in a helluva lot of trouble. There, in my fancy outfit I loved so much which I later tossed in a dumpster because I didn't want the constant reminder of how my gut somersaulted along with me that day and sometimes still does.
How did I get out of this trouble I found myself in that day?
That's the crux of it.
I didn't get out of it.
And I won't get out of it. This trouble I am in isn't something you ever get out of, not even in death.
It is always there, a legacy of being unconscious and allowing the "well, I should because this is the polite thing to do because I was taught if I say I am going to do something I need to do it, just like I said."
That is usually true, but in this case, not so much. I needed to remember then as I remember now that old truism, "Sometimes rules are meant to be broken!"
I am realizing now that I don't see it anymore as "trouble." I see it instead as a "what is" as a divine assignment of sorts, another slice of perfect imperfection in my mottled life. It isn't wrong, it isn't sordid, it isn't solely unpleasant.
My life would be 1,000% different if this "most trouble I've ever been in" hadn't happened.
Considering the stress I've been under lately, writing through this today brought a smile to my face.
Gratitude flows through my fingers as I type onto my laptop, reclining on my sofa, praying this chest cold away.
I am thinking of making some popcorn now, just because. Popcorn feels so optimistic.
Just like I am optimistic. I got into the most trouble I have ever been in. I will never be out of that trouble. And it is just right. It fits, like Cinderella's slipper.
It might not be all sparkly and glitzy and glamorous and that's just fine, too, because it feels so good on my foot. Exactly. As. It. Is. = = = = follow me on twitter: @JulieJordanScot
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