I am surprised it took me more than two minutes to come up with my response to Jamie Ridler’s Wishcasting Wednesday question today. She asked her community of wishers “Where Do You Wish to Make a Fresh Start?”
I have lived in Bakersfield, California for twenty years
now. Twenty years! This was always meant to be a sort of way station in between
where I wanted to be and where I once was: a transitional place where I made an
investment in experience in order to pursue the “more” which was obviously in
store for me when I sat on the crest of my twenties.
My daughter had been stillborn recently (again, back in
1990, when I moved here) and all I wanted was to have less of an ache in the
space where she died and then, put one foot in front of the other until life
was ready to open up (at the time I thought) in Sacramento.
I have wanted to leave Bakersfield almost ever since I moved here.
So my wishful wishful wishful self says, “I wish to make a
fresh start in a new community” and the place I am looking with the most
diligence is Nelson or Keene, New Hampshire.
Why? Well, Nelson is where May Sarton lived. I love May
Sarton. It is completely different than Bakersfield, California. It has a
history. It has seasons. Hey, it has snow in the winter (which I enjoy!). Keene
is the more likely candidate if I were to follow through on this wish in the
next year because Emma will be starting high school next Fall. I wouldn’t want
her to be one of the “country kids” who takes the bus into Keene for high
school.
I have actually looked into apartment/home rentals which is
more than I have done for any other of my vague, “I want to leave Bakersfield”
wishes.
Naturally, since Samuel has high functioning autism, that
puts another layer onto whether or not I make major changes like this – but/and
I know the power of wishing is potent. I know it isn’t an accident that this
wish appeared.
I wish to move, East. I wish to have a fresh start in New
Hampshire. I wish to make this Fresh
Start next Summer – beginning the process fairly soon.
I wish to have the fresh start of an entirely new place, a
new white canvas, relatively close to Katherine in Northampton at Smith, but
not so close that either of us feel claustrophobic.
I wish. I wish. I wish.
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