From this self portrait I shot yesterday, you would never guess I was visiting hell for most of the day. You would think, "Oh, look at that goofy Julie... winking at the camera. Ha ahahhahaha aha..."
And then I had a big "a-ha" as I sat to write.
Changing moods, shifting moods is almost ridiculously easy.
Masks are deceptive and can be dangerous when used flippantly.
This winky-wink face is something of a mask from yesterday, or the majority of yesterday. I spent a heckuva lot of time yesterday feeling angry. It was an unfiltered, unchanneled, unfocused anger.
Not very productive, just unsettling.
Like eating a mouthful of food and expecting it to fill a belly.
Sam and I meandered off into the San Miguel Commemorative Grove and had a grand time. I was laughing and content briefly. Very briefly. And I took a winky- wink "Just kidding, I am not really angry" self portrait....
And then an interesting thing happened.
I left the grove and stayed pissed.
No, I didn't stay happy, which would be the "usual Julie way" I instead got even more angry, but it wasn't so unfiltered this time. It was much more productive. It was much more channelled.
This is the kind of anger that is empowered, this is the kind of power that changes the world for the better and is creative, not destructive.
I got a manila envelope from the school district yesterday. I was excited. I thought they were sending me copies of the reports I requested day before yesterday. I thought. "Wow, how efficient!"
Nope. Just another notice about the IEP. I know when the IEP is, I just need to reports so that I can discuss them with my advocate from Protection and Advocacy in Los Angeles.
Maybe school districts are more like jury pool selection than I thought. You cross your fingers that the folks who show up are not too intelligent or thoughtful because those intelligent, thoughtful, "rally the troops" people might make you work harder.
I respect the work educators have to do. My family is filled with educators. And my family also has a couple people who have neurological challenges.
I phoned my contact at the school district a few minutes ago, again requesting the reports. I explained exactly why. And now I suppose I will need to create a paper trail documenting my phone calls. I am so officially over all of this.
Why do we have to be at odds with the educators?
We are supposed to be a team?
Oh yeah, wink, wink... we are...
And then I had a big "a-ha" as I sat to write.
Changing moods, shifting moods is almost ridiculously easy.
Masks are deceptive and can be dangerous when used flippantly.
This winky-wink face is something of a mask from yesterday, or the majority of yesterday. I spent a heckuva lot of time yesterday feeling angry. It was an unfiltered, unchanneled, unfocused anger.
Not very productive, just unsettling.
Like eating a mouthful of food and expecting it to fill a belly.
Sam and I meandered off into the San Miguel Commemorative Grove and had a grand time. I was laughing and content briefly. Very briefly. And I took a winky- wink "Just kidding, I am not really angry" self portrait....
And then an interesting thing happened.
I left the grove and stayed pissed.
No, I didn't stay happy, which would be the "usual Julie way" I instead got even more angry, but it wasn't so unfiltered this time. It was much more productive. It was much more channelled.
This is the kind of anger that is empowered, this is the kind of power that changes the world for the better and is creative, not destructive.
I got a manila envelope from the school district yesterday. I was excited. I thought they were sending me copies of the reports I requested day before yesterday. I thought. "Wow, how efficient!"
Nope. Just another notice about the IEP. I know when the IEP is, I just need to reports so that I can discuss them with my advocate from Protection and Advocacy in Los Angeles.
Maybe school districts are more like jury pool selection than I thought. You cross your fingers that the folks who show up are not too intelligent or thoughtful because those intelligent, thoughtful, "rally the troops" people might make you work harder.
I respect the work educators have to do. My family is filled with educators. And my family also has a couple people who have neurological challenges.
I phoned my contact at the school district a few minutes ago, again requesting the reports. I explained exactly why. And now I suppose I will need to create a paper trail documenting my phone calls. I am so officially over all of this.
Why do we have to be at odds with the educators?
We are supposed to be a team?
Oh yeah, wink, wink... we are...
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