Julie Unplugged

It is so easy to criticise myself

Earnest 234
Originally uploaded by Samantha Leigh

Here I am, portraying Miss Prism in "The Importance of Being Earnest" at the Empty Space in Bakersfield. I love this scene, I am having a marvelous time on stage but I look at this photo and what do I think?

"Oh my gosh. My hands are enormous and so unladylike."

I don't notice how Chelsea is so in character or how Brandon's energy is leaping off the page or even my own contemplation, as Prism... ready to complete the whole story and help tie it all in a big red bow for the audience.

Nope, all I can see is the size, shape and my disdain for my own hands.

Why do I do this?

I know better.

At least I didn't notice my grey roots. That would be the second thing I notice.

I Have Hat Envy

Joe and Chelsea
Originally uploaded by juliejordanscott

In "The Importance of Being Earnest" there are some incredibly cute costumes, but what I really adore the most are the hats.

Gorgeous, frivolous, colorful feathered and flowered hats.

I have a hat which I wear briefly, but Chelsea's hats make me just want to stand up and cheer.

And their faces in this photo make me want to cheer even more.

One more weekend of "The Importance of Being Earnest" and then, Miss Prism will be forever a memory.

My Neighborhood - Subject of Art - 5

My Neighborhood - Subject of Art - 5
Originally uploaded by juliejordanscott

I have long loved this stretch of street in my La Cresta Neighborhood. There is something serene about it, idyllic.

It almost doesn't look like Bakersfield with its rolling hills and bright green (well watered!) lawns.

I could sit and stare at this photo for hours. Beautiful.

My Neighborhood - Subject of Art - 5

My Neighborhood - Subject of Art - 5
Originally uploaded by juliejordanscott

I am blessed to live in a neighborhood that contains a lot of beauty, but last weekend as I walked, I discovered beauty in many surprising places.

Everything can be beautiful when our eyes -and spirit - choose to see it as beauty.

What beauty do you see in this photo?

Look, really look at it.

I see the dappled lawn, first. It looks both spongey and inviting and the variation in colors draws me into it.

I see the tire swing. I adore tire swings. We had one in a secluded part of my backyard when I was growing up. Tire swings say peace to me. I love this particular swing. Looking at it I can feel my feet skimming the top of the spongey grass as I whiz around in the tire.

The pine tree branches contrasted with the Spanish tile roof of the house also delight me.

The surprising and familiar combinations soothe me.

What beauty do you see?

Writing......Filling My Soul and My Art

Writing Self portrait
Originally uploaded by juliejordanscott

Last night when I talked to David at Starbucks I asked him if he had a writing practice. "Writing without a purpose" I said to him. "Just writing to write, every day, no intent except to get thoughts on the page."

I have been back at the Morning Pages practice and it fills me like nothing else. I don't do it "perfectly"... (sorry Julia Cameron)... but the fact that I am at the kitchen table.. or on the day in the photo, on a chaise lounge on my friend Maria's patio... I am there, writing, first thing.

I am letting words spill from my pencil or pen onto the page without editing or preplanning or needing it to "become" anything.

I am writing because it makes my life better.

That's all. Its everything and nothing.

It makes my heart sing, with delight.

It helps me see things, life, more clearly. It helps clear away opinion and get down to the facts.

Life is sweeter because I fill my well when it gets empty, I fill it through filling the page with images, with ideas, with reflections, with witness.

SP 54/365 - And in the Moment Immediately After...

SP 54/365
Originally uploaded by juliejordanscott

A friend of mine walked through the door of Starbucks and was so excited to see me. It was one of the purest moments of pure glee when seen by someone who was not my child that I have seen in, well, I don't know when.

The other night Jen, Todd, Rusty and I mentioned him. I said he was one person I would like to go to the Hotsprings with again, I said, because "he gets it..."

But the best part of the evening was when I insisted on giving him a hug and it was one of those amazing, soulful, breath and life exchanging hugs.

Again, the sort of hug I used to long for because I never received.

While they will never be ordinary, they are so much more plentiful than they used to be!

Closer view from Sacred Grove

Closer view from Sacred Grove
Originally uploaded by juliejordanscott

Sam and I discovered a new place to explore yesterday.

It had been discovered many times by many other people, I suppose, it is right by the Bike Path, after all, but I don't know how many bicyclists veer off the path and into these really cool groves of trees that are a memorial for something.

I am thinking they must have some ties to our history before this land was developed and came to be known as "Bakersfield"... this is probably paying homage to our swampy past when the Kern River ran free of the dam at Lake Isabella and these groves of trees saw a wider variety of water flow than they do now.

Sam and I had a great time there. He immediately started climbing.

Hank wasn't sure what to do. He had just gotten groomed and in my mind I make up that he didn't want to get all dirty.

My favorite moment was when he sat right on my feet. It really is his favorite place to be, either on my feet or beside my feet. I wonder if grooming makes him nervous?

This morning Sam and Hank are sleeping on the couch, behind me, as I type.

Katherine is working on advanced algebra at the kitchen table and I am about to rouse Emma to face her day. I gave her a ten minute warning more than ten minutes ago.

There is a train sounding in the distance. It is South East of here, not sure what distance the whistle can travel.

There is a big chunk of me that really doesn't want to face this day. I need to befriend that chunk, honor that chunk, and move forward in spite of that chunk.

Subject of my deep admiration

Subject of my deep admiration
Originally uploaded by juliejordanscott

I have noticed that with the increased the volume of photos I take, I am turning the everyday of life into subjects of art that is not just pretty to look it, it is soul stirring.

I am looking at objects seemingly “plain” and honoring their presence, their form, their uniqueness and all of a sudden, they are no longer plain.

In a click of a shutter, they become subjects of beauty, of wonder.

A shrill voice interrupted my artful reverie. “Ma’am? Ma’am!” Pause. “Ma’am! What are you doing?”

Somewhere in the midst of those “Ma’ams” I realized she was talking to me.

“Oh… I am taking pictures.” I said.

“Of?” her question mark was peppered with annoyance.

“This tree, I love this tree… I wanted to get some picture s of it… it is so beautiful.”

“Ohhhh….. “ she said, relief emptying from her belly. “This is my son’s house and I….

“I can stop if you want.” I said.

”No, its fine,” she said, waving at me in forgiveness.

“It really is a beautiful tree. I am a writer… I have written about it before… so I just thought I would take a few pictures.”

“It’s ok, really,” she said and walked back into her house.

I looked back at the tree and took a few more photos, but the momentum of the joy within the moment had evaporated.

I don’t know if the homeowner’s mother had ever looked at the tree in the same way I looked at the tree. I hope if she hadn’t, my admiration opened something up for her.

I am feeling more and more the words of John Keats, when I look at stair cases and trees and the slant of roofs and the lines of an older car parked under an awning.

John Keats said, Poetry should be great and unobtrusive, a thing which enters into one's soul, and does not startle it or amaze it with itself, but with its subject.

He was talking about poetry. I am seeing poetry - and art – in every moment of life. I saw it in the tree, juxtaposed against a sign alerting passers by to the close proximity of a school.

I see the tree itself as a school. I see the space between the branches as teachers and the leaves as they flutter to the ground as teachers and the beautifully textured bark as teachers.

For whatever reason, several years ago this tree entered my soul.

It seems to know it, because every time I walk past, it greets me again with the curves of its branches, its sweet shape. It swells with pride.

After today, it may even grow a few inches taller and wider as it startles and amazes itself, my subject.

Welcome to Emma's World

emmasworldquiznos
Originally uploaded by juliejordanscott

I had completely forgotten about this series of photos I started when I first had my camera.

I called them "Emma's world" and the photos all have a slice of Emma's head, primarily from the eyes and the nose up, and show the world around her.

This was taken at Quizno's on Mall View Road, close to Cold Stone Creamery and Starbucks. This is a newly developed plot of land that used to be an open field.

I have always been intrigued by the guy drinking the cup who apparently attends Valley Bible Church, but my young friend Tonimaxine noticed instead the man in the green shirt, right above the part in Emma's hair.

That guy showed up all over the place in photos that day. Its like his spirit was begging to be captured on film.

Makes me wonder what he is doing today?

Welcome to Emma's World!

SP 50/365 - Miss Prism hides

SP 50/365 - Miss Prism hides
Originally uploaded by juliejordanscott

It is such a privilege to get on stage and speak the dynamic wordplay of Oscar Wilde - especially to appreciative audiences like we had this weekend at The Empty Space.

I could not love a character more than I love Miss Prism. She is right up there with Rosemary Sydney. Rosemary remains at the top because of the variety of emotions she expresses, but Miss Prism is just so fantastically... Miss Prism.

Her air is the polar opposite of mine right now, her very lightness helps lift me from my funk... if only for the two hours twice a week I get to portray her.

I am a little bit worried about what will happen once I hang up my costume for the final time in two weeks.

I don't know when I will be back on stage again. I need to wait until everything is settled with Sam AND until he is comfortable. I need to be present, at home, when he is here.

It will be an adjustment for him as he is so used to spending so many hours a day with me... and like my friend said, "He seems so attached to you."

(That is because he is, as I am attached to him.)

For now, I can be Miss Prism, hiding behind my straw hat when the going gets tough. And for now is all I've got.