I Was Never One of THOSE Girls....

I was never one of those girls who walked around the locker room naked, showing off my bountiful beautiful young nubile body to the other girls at

Dana

Hills

High School

. On the contrary, I faced the lockers and got from dance clothes or standard PE clothes to street clothes as quickly as possible.

I am also not one of those women who just loves walking around naked in front of a lover.  I remember a director once saying "No one walks backwards" and I thought, "You have never seen me strategically leaving a room after a liason with a new lover."

I just don't do the naked thing very well, if I do it at all.

My upper body, I am ok with that. I could even say I am very fond of my upper body attributes. And… full nakedness. No. Not me. Not comfortable, never have been so why on Earth would I be now?

On the other hand - - I have been known to listen and follow the call.  So for whatever bizarre reason you might imagine (I certainly haven't figured it out yet) I had this wild idea to write a series of poems about womanhood. I was doodling and came up with "Curvy… curvy… curvy..." and I started to see the infinity symbol in my body as well as on the page.

So then I followed the creative call to images, to body images, to images of my body and paintings and oh my word, what on Earth is that thought?

Ah, no big, I thought. These pieces won't come together, too weird even for me.

I found myself writing a note to the women on Planet Sark – "Any photographers in Southern or Central

California

?" and was connected almost immediately to Leigh.

So that is how I found myself in a makeshift garage-photo studio in Echo Park, perfect for the gritty, raw feeling I was looking for in my first ever Nude Art photo shoot.

Leigh brought a CD of almost-World-music and turned it on. She played with her camera and I slowly got undressed. She was good at ignoring what I was doing until she was separated from me with the camera.

I was half dressed when I told her how I wanted to do these photos.

Why is it I felt like I was directing again?

Here is a close replica of what I said, "I am not sure how you normally do this… but here is what I was thinking."  Leigh looked at me, her precious, pure skin facing my older, less pure skin.

"I don't really want to pose per se, what I want to do is sort of go into a meditative, contemplative state and then feel whatever emotions I am feeling and move my body however I feel like moving and I would like to be able to trust you, as an artist, to shoot when you feel a connection to what I am doing."

Leigh nodded. It seemed as if she got it.

"I mean, this is about being a woman. It is about empowerment, I mean – obviously… look at me. I am not 20 years old. I am not thin. I am just me. And this is… an empowering stretch for me to do this. Hopefully… somehow… inspiring."

I took off my remaining clothes and we began.

I floated on my breath. Up, Up, Up and away. I almost forgot that Leigh was even there. I entered the music and found myself in a state where I was visited by friends and family in my creative mind.

There were my children, there were former loves. There were tears. There was dancing. There was ache. There was peace and contentment.

And this was only one roll of film.

We did one roll of what I call "ethereal, mystical, soft focus" nudes. The hope with those is that the viewer is taken into an emotional state and has to stop to check in – wondering "is that a naked person I see?"

I also wanted them to be raw, gritty – I know, paradoxical. I know. Ethereal, raw, mystical and gritty.  Kind of like my heart.

These photos are, after all, an accompaniment for my poetry, not the other way around.

The second roll of film was extreme close up.  I actually talked to Leigh when she started taking those shots.  I watched her look through her view finder. Very close, very close.

She had five pictures left when she said, "Is there anything else you want?" I was amazed that by this time I could just stand there, completely me, completely without clothes – and not even think about it.  "I want one of the curve in my hip, from behind. Oh, and by the way, my butt is my most hated part of my body."

She obliged and took a couple shots.

"What else?" she asked.

I thought again. Well, these are about womanhood. "I know, I will lie down – let's see what happens with gravity."

She laughed. "You are so funny." The funniest thing was, I didn't realize I was being funny, I just wanted to see what happens visually with gravity.

When we were done she handed me the film and I realized now all I had to do was find someone who would develop them.

Oh, great. I hadn't thought about that.

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To see part of the "finished product" of this incredible day....

I Felt It In My Toes.

One Poem from My Favorite Photo of All Time

A Second Poem from My Favorite Photo of All Time.

This Poem is becoming a fast favorite of many women and was the scariest photo of all for me to publish.