What? You? How?

I was re-reading an earlier entry in my morning pages notebook - I opened it randomly because I just felt like I was supposed to post something here, in my Unplugged Blog.

I came across this note I wrote about Devon being shocked that I had been suicidal in the past.

Here goes nothing.

Recently - some one - Devon... said, "How? You? Suicidal? No, I never ever would have thought that from you."

Yes, it is true.

I have a tale to tell.

Once upon a time I was a woman who lost everything that meant anything to her.  I became disatisfied and didn't want to continue anymore. I only wanted to sleep, leave the sadness behind.

"It's the this, it's the that" I lamented.

"It's the heart, It's the heart, It's the heart."

Marlena, Marlena, Marlena.

I want someone, anyone, to sing her song to me.

Once upon a time, I was a woman who no longer wanted to live.

And once upon a time, I chose life. I said "Yes."

And I continued to live, ever after.