"I Want to Audition" - Morning Page Memories

I was so excited today when I found my morning pages

entry from August 12, 2003.

It catalogs my first transcendent experience in my

acting class.

I was giggling and wanted to share it with you here.

August 12, 2003

When I looked at myself last night I saw such
intensite and range and it was funny and exhilarating
and I just lost myself and I felt special, unique like
Whoa, is that really me? and Yes. It is.

Don't grieve over lost time and just be grateful
and be in the moment and allow that presence to
spill through all and something is happening.

It is scary. It is like unleashing this side of me and
it had me removed and a bit separated and not
altogether here me you there two sisters and a
daughter or something hard to think of something
and it is wonderful oddoddoddoddoddoddoddoddoddd
and wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful I go
so into it that I kinda fell apart and at the same
time it was like falling together and maybe people
fall apart because they don't have the awareness to
fall together.

Its strange, isn't it.

That idea of falling together and awe-ing myself.
Its like I was outside myself and watching me and
now I have moved inside.

It was the most amazing feeling and I am amazed
perplexed that right now it is incapturable. (Not
able to capture.)

It felt soooo sooooo sooooo right here... *heart*
I mean right here *body*.

The Me really shone through. Hot damn, it will really
dramatically improve my singing.

I want to audition.