I am an Empty Cathedral (We Write Poems Prompt #9)

I wrote this poem early, meaning I wrote it almost as soon as I saw the prompt. I put it away, like a good little girl-poet and only pulled it back out today to post it to the We Write Poems site, which is where I am about to post a link.

I discovered - WOW! I like what I wrote! ^giggles^ I hope you enjoy it as well.

Celebrating solitude and the fullness of silence

Papers and paintings and a whirring fan, too distant

I am in an empty cathedral

Once a home for a dining table

Where I sat, waiting on an autumn night

For costumed visitors, expecting candy

in exchange for knocking

My baby who wasn’t costumed,

who wasn’t breathing,

knocked on my heart

Tiny flower sprayed casket lived

Forever in my chest that year

Thick dank clouds hovered

My shoes were worn out from wandering

From Labor Day to Memorial Day

I can not write like Emily Dickinson does

Your head is in tact, so this is not a poem

I wore patent leather heels, black, with a bow

I prayed he would look at me, really see me

That night in Puerta Vallarta, where I will never

Choose to go again

 

 

Comments

[pamela]

Julie this is heartbreaking and so well written
I love Puerta Vallarta what a beautiful place!
Pamela

[Mary]

It is a nice feeling, isn't it, when you look at a poem you wrote and find you like it! I like your poem too. You worked well with the prompt, and, as Pamela said, it IS heartbreaking.

[brenda w]

You conjured Emily Dickinson for me. I saw her/you in black patent heels and a bow. Poignant, breathtaking--you made me gasp. Thank you for sharing this deep piece.

[Mollie]

Julie, this seemingly light poem, with its images of costumed trick or treating children, dives deeply into your heart with the "tiny, flower-sprayed casket." The heart of a woman, a mother is so opened for the reader, the inner sanctum, showing one side and another, leading to a surprise ending in a resort town of vacation happiness, the mere name breathes of romance. Yet your poem once again startles with its story. Exquisitely written, revealing the Heart, and its pain of the past that haunts now and then.

[irene]

Black patent heels walking is a strong image Julie, that said a lot. The last three lines are 'wow'.

[Diane]

I loved all the places this poem took me. I have really enjoyed Puerto Vallarta. I am sad about the baby.

http://troublebeingstrong.blogspot.com/2010/07/premonition.html

[Stan Ski]

Great, atmospheric piece, full of haunting images.

[Derrick]

Such a poignant piece, Julie, with beautiful words.

[barbara]

lovely work
evocative