Julie Unplugged

The Sweet Memories of Getting Lost on a Family Roadtrip

Today's post was inspired by this prompt from the folks at Scintilla Project. " Talk about where you were going the day you got lost. Were you alone? Did you ever get to where you were going?

If my GPS were human I would marry it. I don’t know what I would do without it, seriously.

It shows me faster ways to get places, warns me if traffic is ahead and lets me choose an alternate path, it is even patient with me when I inadvertently go the wrong way.

I started using a handheld GPS on road trips with my children.

One day in the wilds of Butte, Montana the GPS we called Pete took us onto a private ranch road. I was scared a crazed rancher with a long shot gun was going to chase after me, taking my children hostage and feeding them to a hungry buffalo or whatever big, meat eating animal roams around those parts of the country. I turned back. Pete was

The Beauty of the Montana Sky took my breath away. Photos can't capture that feeling it gives off....

not amused. He kept saying, "Take a U-Turn as soon as possible!”

Over and over again as the widest most beautiful sunset was taking place all around us we were told, "Take a U-Turn as soon as possible" we found our way back to our funky motel. Butte’s name was quite a joke for my children. We still laugh about it. Samuel was seven at the time and any sort of “naughty body part” humor had him in stitches and he repeated it over and over and over again.

My favorite “ohmigawsh, we’re lost!” took place outside Cambridge, Massachusetts when we were trying to get to my friend, Pegi’s house in Hyannis on Cape Cod. I can still see the road in front of me: it was one of those chaotic stretches of highway which is like a doorway to roads in every direction and if you take the wrong one, you can pretty much be guaranteed a heckuva long detour.

We went into a tunnel – with me praying I made the right choice and then, we lost our

Yes - once the worry of "Well Guys, We're on our own!" we had a lovely Easter Celebration in Cape Cod

GPS signal. The girls and I moaned. We then went silent until Samuel, now nine and completely logical declared, “Well, guys, it looks like we are on our own!” which made the girls and I grown and laugh hysterically. We popped out of the tunnel, the GPS received its signal again and we were exactly where we were supposed to be.

Why is it the getting lost or almost getting lost or going the wrong way stories seem to wind up as favorite stories to tell later? They’re often more memorable than all the well thought out plans: the National Park, the amusement park, the beach. Those activities become fuzzy, but sitting in the car together laughing and moaning as we sit close together, wide-eyed while sipping on both wonder and worry live forever.

 

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© 2013 by Julie Jordan Scott

Gratitude for the Best Department in My Local School District

Maybe I can blame it on being raised in a quintessentially WASPy household.

You see, I have this overwhelming need to be considerate.  Yesterday when I picked Samuel up from school rather than sending him on the bus to Valley Achievement Center I went directly to the special ed bus to let the driver know she didn’t have to wait.

Mr. R, one of the autism teachers,  gave my face & scar the once over briefly. This is always strange to watch: people take the scar in and then pretend they didn’t notice it because they don’t know what to say. Perhaps they don’t realize I survived as a child by quick reads of faces.

Anyway, I reached past Mr. R and his stilted greeting and told the bus driver Samuel  wouldn’t be coming so she didn’t need to wait. In the past, bus drivers complained if they weren’t told, since Samuel is one of the few children who is mainstreamed and consequently gets to the bus later than the other children.

The transportation department in my school district is the most personalble, easy to work with department there. I have been known to call in the very early morning with requests and they have been honored. I have argued and debated and argued... and gotten my way. Perhaps this is a part of my conscientiousness.

I saw the driver and said, “Hi, I just wanted to tell you I am picking Samuel up today.”

The woman wasn’t the driver who had been there in the past. “Thanks – oh, and I used to drive Samuel when he was very little.”

My eyes widened. “You did?” I said, attempting to not let my speechlessness strangle me.

“Yes, I drove Bus 137 back then,” she continued.

My hand covered my mouth. “That was you?” I said, stepping onto the bus. “Oh, you were the best bus driver ever.” I continued, “Your name is Chris, right? Oh, please let me see you… you have no idea. You just have no idea…”

I used to have her cell phone number on my phone and I would call her at 6 am if the children needed to be picked up. She would drive right to my door and pick up Emma and Samuel. Sometimes she dropped them off right at my door if I didn’t appear at the bus stop.

In my phone directory she was listed as “Chris, the best bus driver.”

I reached up to hug her, “That was an awful, awful year for Samuel,” I explained. “That was before he was diagnosed and that Principal at that school literally threw him under the bus.”

I had to cover my quivering chin with my hand.

“I can’t believe it is you.”

Later I asked Samuel about Chris, the afternoon driver. I asked if he remembered her from kindergarten. He grunted a non answer and later said to me, “Please don’t talk about the past to me ever again. If you talk to me about the past, I will tell you how old I am going to be on my birthday. I will tell you my shoe size!”

We joke about these two topics, especially, because I like to fuss over him growing up.

I can understand him not speaking of the past. I can’t imagine what it feels like from his perspective to go from being a “normal” kid to a “special” kid.

Somehow, though, I feel blessed that Chris is a thread in the beginning and the end of his elementary school years, a consistently loving person in his life whether he knew it or not. As a Mommy, I knew it.

For that reason and probably more I can’t put into words, I am grateful for her presence in our lives again.

 

 

 

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Do you have a lot of stuff to get done but can never seem to find the motivation? We have a solution - Get stuff done while having lots of fun at Passion Activator Friday - November 16, 2012 Check it out!

© 2012 by Julie Jordan Scott

It's 9 PM: Time to Pick Up Emma. Before Going on Auto-Complain on MomSchlep mode, remember...

It is Day 2 of Lisa Jo Baker's series 31 Days to Write Your Story.

I am writing 31 Days/31 Slices of Life with My Children and Me.

I didn’t want to pick Emma up from school tonight. I finally said, “Ok, Ok, I will get her” when the passive aggressive other person who might take that duty was being such a pain in my butt it just wasn’t worth it.

Samuel and I drove the ten minutes to East Bakersfield High School and I started thinking how much I missed Emma, how much I always miss my kids when we are separated. I don’t usually phone them because it hurts too much. My eldest daughter lives in Scotland for this Semester – part of her Junior Year Abroad, and I told her on Skype last Sunday, “Sometimes I pretend you are still at Smith in Northampton. That is only 3000 miles away, not 3,000 miles of continent and then 3,000 miles of ocean!”

My children know they are loved.

Emma had been at school today from 7 am for zero period PE to 9 pm doing her Newspaper…. What do they call it? It is the time they put everything together, “create the pages” etc…. oh yes, LAYOUT.

Last year at this time Emma was a complete neophyte, a goofy freshman.

This year she is a winner of a statewide journalism contest and the managing editor of the paper as a sophomore.

She climbed into the car and I asked my usual question: “How did it go?”

“Surprisingly enough it went really, really well. I am so much better at this stuff this year.” Naturally this year she is a leader, too.

I didn’t need to remind her of that, she knew it before I spoke.

She was wearing a new dress and feeling satisfied. I could almost feel her patting herself on the back, “Job well done, me.”

When she auditioned Saturday for Regional Honor Choir I told her, “If you don’t make it, don’t feel badly about it. There are more chances to audition in the future.”

When she got out of auditions she felt good. “I am glad I auditioned and if I don’t get in, there is always next year and senior year.”

I had prayed for poise and sure enough, she was full of poise and grace. The accompanist messed up her part of the Italian Arts song and Emma just kept going, 100% professional.

I might not have had the overwhelming desire to pick her up tonight, but upon reflection I think of Saturday night when she said, “I’ll go with you. I like hanging with my Mommy.”

I like hanging with you, too, Emma.

 

Follow me on Twitter: @juliejordanscot 

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Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. 

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Powered by us.groups.yahoo.com  © 2012 by Julie JordanScott

What is the Hardest Part of Parenting? #SummerBlogChallenge

Summer Blog Challenge Prompt August 15. What is the hardest part of parenting?

I could go Pollyanna today and say something like, “Hardest part? Why, parenting is all a cake walk in the park and the kids always adore your every choice and sit at your feet, wondering how they got so blessed to have ME as their Mommy!”

That is only partially true, after all.

The hardest part of parenting for me is the continually need and practice of letting go.

It is ironic, because that is such a huge part of parenting: we raise our children to be confident enough to fly on their own wings, not on ours.

My children, for the most part, do this.

I’m thinking this morning how much I have been looking forward to the first day of school.

This is true for the most part, but it is also very difficult for me to not know how things are faring for my child. I jump at every ring of the phone. I worry my child will need me and I won’t be able to know telepathically.

I think a big part of that worry is knowing more than likely my child will come home that first day excited about the new year and all the promise it brings.

Or in Katherine’s case, it is she will come home in December, so happy to have spent her Fall in Edinburgh.

There are other tough challenges along the way, but watching them leave and being detached from their outcomes… that is the most difficult moment I face as a parent each and every time.

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© 2012 by Julie Jordan Scott

Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.

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Five Minute Friday: The Exact Moment My Beautiful Babies & I Became "Enough"

It’s #FiveMinuteFriday free write time! <—click to tweet this!

Where a flash mob of folks spend five minutes all writing on the same topic and then share ‘em over at Lisa Jo Baker's place. 

So, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. (I did add some photos - one of a little Samuel and the others, later in their lives...and mine, in the final one.)
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

OK, are you ready? Please give me your best five minutes on:

ENOUGH

 

It was a blazing hot June day. Samuel was about seven-weeks-old, Katherine was ten-years-old, Emma was three. We had spent the day before at my mother’s sixty ninth birthday party in Glendale, Arizona with the rest of our family. She waited until Samuel was old enough and then we made the trek.

It was actually fun. I was surprised since I never feel like enough (or anything positive) around my family.

We had to leave to return to California less than twenty-four hours later.

The other family members were all going to a baseball game together.

 The four of us trudged into our little car and almost immediately we all started crying. We drove along in silence for a couple hours when little Emma declared she had to go to the bathroom.

If you know the Arizona desert, you will know the places to stop are few and far between.

It was midday and probably in the neighborhood of 110 degrees. There was a rest stop place with no food places but it had some vending machines. While Emma went to do her business, I decided to buy some candy bars to hold everyone over until we hit a normal stopping point.

I asked Katherine to hold Samuel and ran around putting my money into the machines, banging on them and moving to the next one. My plan was to go in one direction and then scoop up in the other direction.

Katherine, being ever so helpful, decided to pick up some of the food that had fallen and in doing so, she dropped baby Samuel on his face on the concrete.

She hates when I tell this story, but it is significant.

Emma came out of the bathroom and again, we were all crying. I said, “Come on everyone, we’re going to the car!”

In that moment we became an amorphous blob being with six walking feet, eight arms, eight eyes and four crying mouths. Samuel was doing the horrifying no sound cry. I slipped him into his car seat, fixed him a quick bottle, all the while crying and saying stuff like “I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve you…”

I got the AC going, made sure everyone was belted in and we drove off, all sobbing.

All the way home I kept asking, “How is Samuel, how is Samuel?”

I stopped the car at every stop to check him in his backward facing car seat.

I also thought I should just drive to a police station and ask them to give me a lethal injection because these kids deserved a better mother.

My time is up and there is much more to say BUT the end result of this episode was – in those moments, we became a tightly knit family of four. We, the four of us, were completely enough in our unconventional full of love selves.

 

 

 

Follow me on Twitter: @juliejordanscot 

Be sure to "Like" WritingCampwithJJS on Facebook (THANK YOU!) 

  Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.

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Top 7 Ways to Make the Most of Your “Mom Schlep” (or any time you have to drive hither and yon when you would really rather be doing something – anything – else)

Yesterday I was having a great time sitting at my writing desk letting the insights and inspiration flow when I realized I needed to go pick up Samuel. I lose about an hour a day (or more!) schlepping kids here and there. I get pretty darned cranky about it SO in order to keep my sanity – and a positive relationship with my children – I have come up with strategies to thrive while doing this least favored chore. Some are simple and some may be life changing for you. Try the first couple or two that appeal to you and then… try more. It will make a big difference!

1. Smile. Just putting on a happy expression, believe it or not, makes a difference in your emotions. Put your key in the ignition of your car, put a smile on the ignition of your face.
2. Don’t turn on the radio immediately. Enjoy some quiet instead of a barrage of bass-filled beats or advertisements. This also creates room for more conversation. Teens especially need this space and will tell you more while schlepping around than anywhere else.
3. Practice creativity while driving. My children, even the youngest ones, enjoy “writing haiku” as we drive. This simple Japanese poetry form is simply 17 syllables of “what you see” in its most simplest guise. My kids are still talking about my “blue surrounds the clouds” line.
4. Have a “surprise phone-tography shot” challenge. Who can spot the most interesting image during the drive. Mom, pull over and take a photo & then together, vote on the winners. Prizes? Hugs from Mom or a relief from the simplest chore/household task on the list. And yes, Mom, you are included in this “photo spotting” project.
5. Let the view spark family and life stories. “Do you see that guy, on the corner? That reminds me of a story grandpa used to tell me when he was a little boy.” My children have learned more about my life – and the entire extended family life – because we make the most of what we see. After you are finished with your quick story, ask your child, “What does it (or that something else) remind you?
6. I know it’s illegal in most places, anyway – but put your phone away! (this is why I said to pull over for the phone-tography. A recent tweet from my fifteen-year-old “calling me out” made me choose to just put it away! (You may do the same with your children, too. Make the car “family” time. If the habit is too tough to break, as child to read amusing tweets on a favorite shared subject by searching twitter hashtags. 
7. With that in mind my final suggestion is this: set ALL electronic devices aside, except for GPS ofcourse. Unhook the headphones, put the hand held devices on standby, and use Mom-Shlep time to connect with one another rather than connect with technology.

Follow me on Twitter: @juliejordanscot 

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© 2012 by Julie Jordan Scott

This is my Ultimate Blog Challenge Writing for the Day. Be watching for my challenge posts which will include Writing Prompts, Writing Tips and General Life Tips and Essays. This is Blog 4/31 for July!

 

Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.

Did you enjoyed this essay? Receive emails directly to your inbox for Free from Julie Jordan Scott via the Daily Passion Activator. One inspirational essay and poem (almost) every week day. Subscribe here now -

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