Oh, Lordy, sometimes these AugustMoon13 prompts get me right in the lower part of my back – the tender spot right where the bottom of my tailbone rests. I can’t stop the subtle squirming, the just barely there discomfort that makes me want to do anything but sit with the prompt itself and get to the bare bones of what it wants from me.
I picked up this prompt and ran, I ran and ran and ran right off the playing field. I know I’ve seen that somewhere in a movie – a small child has the ball and instead of staying in the play area s/he runs away and like the little piggy ran all the way home.
This is surprising since letting go is a practice of mine.
Eliminating the belief I have control over anything except for my own attitude has helped me maintain my demeanor in many circumstances. Letting control of control of circumstance while staying personally responsible for my actions - this is one of the doorways to freedom.
I can't say I have perfected this yet, but back to the prompt and my non-response so far.
Perhaps my resistance is to the numeric part of it: asking for three tells my inner coach to get busy. Three things: concrete, measurable, meaningful. No concepts like “I want to let go of boring people and boring things” because what does that mean? Could you, beloved reader, know who or what I mean by boring people or things? No. You couldn’t.
So I need instead to say – something concrete, measurable, and meaningful – in that it can be translated easily and well.
First I wrote some pretty rote responses:
“I want to let go of financial fear and replace it with abundance!” I said.
Yes, that sounds perfectly fine.
“I want to let go of excess weight and replace the overweight me with a fit and sassy me!”
That is sort of specific, right?
And then I realized the “what I wanted to let go of” all seemed to fall under one
“Fear” - a four letter word blanket over much of the darkness it sees won’t cut it here for me because “fear” isn’t always destructive. Sometimes fear is very, very constructive as strange as that may sound for some of you. When fear is a motivator – for me that usually looks like “I am going to show that schmoe what is true and what isn’t!” the more conscious me would say, “What is up with you letting that Schmoe scare you for in the first place? Stand tall!” AND I have to confess, I have often used the fear of Schmoe being RIGHT about me to become fully engaged and overcome a fear directly.
I remember, for example, when I was starting out as a life coach. I filled my practice really quickly and easily, which I didn’t know was an anomaly for other coaches. My trainer looked at me and said, “You can’t do that!” and when I responded, “Well, I did and I am…” and I immediately felt ashamed.
Can you believe that?
I was ashamed of myself for doing something so remarkable my trainer didn’t believe it could be true. But it was true. I had accomplished this on my own using my abilities and instincts. This could have been seen as a cause for celebration but instead, it somehow hooked my trainer’s fear which he then projected onto me.
His "You can't do that!" was a destructive force, spewed from this mouth I respected as a naive newbie.
My long-lived (and often undercover) nemesis, “I-am-wrong-Girl” literally leaps in delight when someone tells me something like this, even and especially when the natural response would be rejoicing.
Today after I first started sorting this out, I made up a mantra which I have been using off and on all day: “Destructive Forces, Move Along! There is nothing for you here!”
I noticed my smile widening with each proclamation.
I almost don’t want to post this, because I am not being
exact. I am not saying “Here are the three!” but this Breakthrough that I had
about “Destructive Forces, Move along!” - if Breakthroughs could be Personified - rises up and giggles, “Post this. You
responded just right, lovely one!”
I will be continuing with this theme (and watch for more posts on the topic) as I play around with the Destructive Forces Be Gone! Theme. I want to make some sort of an art work around it, too – and use it as a visual reference, especially when the going starts to feel like quicksand, pulling me underground and gasping for air.
Come to think of it, I don’t even know if quicksand really exists. I think it is something else the Destructive Forces have told me was there via Gilligan’s Island and other ridiculous television shows of my childhood. Be gone, destructive foes in my memory! There is no place for you here!!
The image you see in purple above is my first attempt to make a visual symbol. I like it and hope you do, too.
And thank you, friends from AugustMoon13. Even when I start with running off the playing field, I eventually turn around with my baskets overflowing with word love and insight flowers and giggles straight from my belly to yours.
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