A-ha moments come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some are like thunderclaps. Some are like violent accidents and others are like the discovery of a waterfall during a long hike when you really wanted to take a break from walking but didn't want to look like a wimp to your fellow hikers.
This morning I was awake before the sunrise. I didn't wake up to participate in consumerist, Black Friday activities, I woke up because it was the usual time for me to begin my day.
Last night I had a difficult time closing the novel I am reading, the classic A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I literally can not remember the last time I did that - fought sleep because of an excellent novel reading experience.
In the interim I had weird dreams of Emma's former guidance counselor invading my unconscious and crying our for her new guidance counselor at her new school. There were also lots of kittens and Mama Kitties in my dream. They were everywhere. I think this is because of the baby explosion in my life: this aspect of my dream was quite similar to the dreams I had when I was pregnant oh so long ago.
I realized Emma was also awake very early via the fact she favorited a tweet I sent about my dream. Samuel is awake, too. I imagine Katherine at her friend's house in Vermont, probably still asleep though she is three hours ahead of us.
It came to me, softly and with strength: I don't want another shapeless day today.
I want a day with substance, with purpose, with a measurement in laughter, memorable conversations and forward movement. I still need to successfully figure out how to make paper cranes. I need to continue with my dollmaking project that continues to lie, inert and barely started.
I want to write and promote and network.
I want to spend time with my children.
I want to spend quality time with myself.
I am happiest when my days - and my life - has shape and form. I am grateful I am the one who continues to be responsible for sculpting most of my time. During December, my plan is to begin to build 2014. Its funny, in my mind I picture a house being framed not unlike I have seen in old fashioned barn raisings.
I believe I am onto something here.
Alice the cat has a thread dangling from her paw and it is frustrating her. I smile as I watch her struggling with it.
I wonder what a-ha is waiting for her to find it?
Julie Jordan Scott is a writer, performance poet, Mommy and mixed-media artist. Her word-love themed art will be for sale at First Friday each month in Downtown Bakersfield. Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.
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