Dear New Parent,
First, take a nice deep breath. Feel where your muscles are tense and relax…. Again… deep breath and relax…. Deep breath and relax….
I remember when I was a new parent all I wanted to do was be the absolute best parent that ever was for my daughter. I did everything right: breast feeding only, cloth diapers only, spending days cuddling on the sofa just idly watching television never putting her down and of course please don’t forget attachment parenting times a bajillion.
What I have learned in the twenty years since then is your baby will love you whether you are the perfect super parent or just a parent trying to do his or her best in the moment.
I found a better strategy is to do what is best for that particular baby in that precise moment.
This morning I read about gold mining in the 1850’s. Yes, I know – not your usual reading and yes, it is relevant. Just listen – it is a brief analogy. It was a letter from a woman known as Dame Shirley who lived and wrote glorious letters home to her sister in New England. My favorite was a letter she wrote about when women joined men in mining.
The men loved to have the women around, so they would encourage them by passing the women plates that were pre-filled with gold dust to encourage women to continue mining. It wasn’t easy work and most women approached mining as if going on an afternoon picnic, especially when the gentleman miners proved to them how simple this work was!
Truth is, the work was hard and rarely was it very fruitful for the average miner, male or female.
They spent hours sifting the “ordinary dirt” from the gold dust.
This is what I think will help you most in parenting after discerning what is best for each child in each particular moment. Take the advice you receive and sift through it. There will be gold dust for you in other people’s words, but it is best if you find it yourself.
It is best if people don’t give you so much that the muddy water makes it impossible for you to sift out the advice that is right for your little ones.
Let’s go back to the beginning:
Take a nice deep breath. Feel where your muscles are tense and relax…. Again… deep breath and relax…. Deep breath and relax….now love your baby with all your heart every day.
Forgive yourself when you fall short of what you think is “The Super Mom” or “The Perfect Dad.” Just being you and doing the best you absolutely can is what will fill up your children’s love sippy cup now and for the rest of their lives… and for your Grandchildren, too. Imagine that!
With So Much Love,
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© 2012 by Julie Jordan Scott
Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She leads Writing Camp with JJS & this Summer will be traveling throughout the US to bring this unique, fun filled creative experience to the people wherever she finds the passion & the interest.
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