For some reason, I am suddenly nervous about Kat going to Edinburgh. 2 years ago I was nervous about her going to Smith College. I am in California, after all. Smith is 3,000 miles away. Edinburgh is roughly 6,000 miles away – I am afraid to look it up, actually – so I worry my worry will be doubly bad.
Just last week I told Katherine I was worried about something random. She wisely said, “Oh, Mommy, it’s just your nature to worry.” Here I thought my nature was to appear all calm, cool and collected. Who am I fooling?
There was the day I cried after my first parent teacher conference for Katherine (then Kathie) when she was in preschool and then there was my sadness when she was stopped wearing diapers. I am the only person I know who cried when her child was potty trained.
I must recall as well my happiness that she was born at the end of December so I could “have her for another year” because of cut-offs for starting kindergarten.
Letting go of my children is not my forte.
I seriously don’t know how my mother did it.
Maybe it was because she got so much practice with four kids moving up and out in seven years. I imagine at that point it is relief because you don’t have to cook quite as much dinner.
I am thrilled Katherine has grabbed onto every opportunity that has come her way.
She will be even more poised and graceful after she negotiates life in the UK. I just looked at photos of the flats there at Edinburgh and my heart started pounding. What if it is hard for her to make friends? What if she just shuts herself into her little bedroom and never socializes in the “kitchen/living” area of her 12 person “flat”?
What if she doesn't come back after her semester and her brother, Samuel, who loves her so much, thinks she has deserted him? I went through that with John, after all. Our sibling relation didn't heal for years!
What if? What if? What if?
What if she has a fabulous time?
What if she meets and falls in love with a Scottish man with thick curly brown hair and green eyes?
I think I just need to calm down.
I survived the withdrawal from diapers, I can survive this.
© 2012 by Julie Jordan Scott
Follow me on Twitter: @juliejordanscot
Julie Jordan Scott has been a Life & Creativity Coach, Writer, Facilitator and Teleclass Leader since 1999. She is also an award winning Actor, Director, Artist and Mother Extraordinaire. She was twice the StoryTelling Slam champion in Bakersfield. She facilitates Virtual Writing Camp , too.
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