I didn’t create a resolution last year. I haven’t done so in years, actually. I maintain creative projects, I create products – last year I rang in 2009 New Year with a program called “Being Bootcamp” with my beloved friend, Adela Rubio. It was a part of my attempt at focusing on building my business again.
In fact, if I had created a resolution that I didn’t keep, it would probably be in relationship to either health or my business.
I didn’t work much on either in 2009. Do I wish I had stuck with either of them? Yes and No. Do I waggle my finger at myself in disgust?
I found it fascinating that as 2009 comes to a close, I am much more grounded and much more tangibly optimistic as 2010 knocks at my door. Everything shows improvement.
I have clear goals for the start of the year, I have new relationships and strengthened relationships. I have a plan about health and about my business. I have grown immeasurably when I didn’t know I could grow… and it isn’t necessarily growth by conventional standards…
I feel like I should be ending the #Best09 Blog Challenge with something of a bang, a ginormous “TA-DA!” but… when I look at the tenor of 2009, I see beauty like I saw in the sunrise this morning, which I wrote into a haiku:
It had a gold hue
tapping fingers say, "wake up!"
this year's last sunrise
I reviewed a lot of what I wrote in December 2008 looking for any clues for this final Best09 blog – and what I found were words like this:
Daily Passion Activator:
I have been jokingly
curious with myself about
creating a "formula" to
arrive at presence, as if presence
could be a train station one
I giggle at that notion and
yet I understand the desire
to follow a simple recipe
and step into that delectable
I am adept at its discovery
and yet sometimes get frustrated
at the limited use of language
in its explanation.
On December 31, 2008 my one sentence journal entry said:
I rushed and rushed and rushed until I got to
where I was going, exactly where I was meant
to be all along.
On January 2, 2009 my one sentence journal entry said:
I continue to have stirring connections with people I love and am coming to love more and more and more and more.
On January 1, 2009 My Examen of Consciousness entry stated:
My intention is to do this in writing, with a notebook.
Last night, with Sam being sick, I felt more compelled to complete the examen while cuddling with Sam, without a notebook.
It worked out just fine and tonight I look forward to doing the examen on paper, as planned.
So I didn’t resolve to take better care of my body nor did I resolve to take better care of my business though there were many clues about my desire to be present. I did that, even in the earliest moments of 2009. I forgave myself my shortcomings… quite readily… and was “cool with what was”….
I don’t wish I had stuck with anything other than that, actually.
I am cool with what was, what is, and what will be.
"For all that has been,
For all that is to come,
Thank you to all the phenomenal people I met during the Blog Challenge. I look forward to continued relationships with you.
Thank you, Yes. Yes, Thank you. Yes.