I saw a long-ago friend a couple days ago.
I haven’t seen her for years and all she could
talk about was moving out of the country to a
place she thought had people who knew how to
have a good time compared to those in her
current community.
"They have more fun there..." she lamented
with her facial expression and her voice.
She said it. And she said it again. And she
said it again.
I finally looked her in the eyes and said, “Hey,
if I can create my entire life about having fun
and I live in Bakersfield? Anyone can do it anywhere.”
Fun or happiness or joy isn’t a destination or
a relationship or a game one plays. Happiness
and fun and joy are ways we simply choose
to be. I could whine forever about being in
Bakersfield. Goodness knows people
do. I used to whine about it.
Johnny Carson made a career out of jabbing
Bakersfield, but Barbara Streisand still makes
regular day trips here to eat at our
local restaurants.
I have found a creative community that nurtures
and supports me like none other.
I gave birth to all of my children here.
I have a whole list of people I could call
in times of crisis, people who would drop
whatever they were doing and run to
help me out.
Just last night I wrote on Twitter of Sam's
fever and Katherine's need for hair rollers
for her show tomorrow and within minutes,
three people responded, willing, ready
and able to help with the most mundane things
simply because they knew I was in need.
I didn’t grow up here, I don’t have any extended
family here – but I have chosen to live life
with heart wide open here.
The result is I have a darn good time almost
constantly. I am happy. I am joyful. I am content
in my surroundings.
All it requires is making the choice to live
with your heart wide open, wherever and however
you find yourself.
If you are one of those folks who likes specific
action steps to take, here are some
which I know work:
1. Show up in places where people ‘like you’
hang out. My first point of connection was at
Poetry Nights. Sam attended with me as a baby,
in a pack on my back. Don't let perceived
barriers stop you. You might take a class at an
arts center or local college or join a hiking or
cycling group. The key is to show up, to move,
and once you get to where you are going, devote
yourself to being 100%, authentically
yourself… even if it is the shy version of you.
2. Volunteer to be of service, support a cause.
Nothing creates intimacy like working devotedly on a
common goal and guess what people “ in the know” know?
Hard work with others is a blast.
3. If at first you don’t succeed, try – try again.
Seriously. You might hit a roadblock with the meditation
group, so try a book club or if that book club doesn't
fit, try different book club. See what Meetup.com or
Craigslist or Facebook groups are doing and then go
back and repeat 1 and 2.
You are ready (and you are worth the effort of making)
the choice to live with your heart wide open, wherever
and however you find yourself.
You don't have to move out of the country
to find joy or fun or happiness.
Robert Ingersoll said it: “The time to be happy
is now. The place to be happy is here.”
What is simpler than that?
Be happy in exactly the place you are now.
Make that choice.
© 2009
Julie Jordan Scott
This essay was originally published in Daily Passion Activator, Why not Subscribe today? It's free.
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Julie Jordan Scott is a Writer, Life Coach, Poet,
Speaker, Actor, Director and Mom Extraordinaire
whose deepest passion is helping people -
like you - discover and live with passion.
Call 661.444.2735 to book your complimentary
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Hi Julie. You don't really know me, but I know of you and have met and spoken to you. I just wanted to say that I love your writings. One night I found your other journal (rasing bakersfield) and tore through it, reading every entry on my cell phone and then came to this one and read every entry since the last time I read it. You inspire me. The world is so lucky to have someone like you upon it.
Everytime I read your entries it makes me want to write again, I am gaining the courage to do so once more.
Thank you for sharing your words with all of us.
Posted by: serenavictoria | May 17, 2009 at 12:47 AM
I think I do know you - are you a part of BECA? Or perhaps that is a different Serena Victoria?
Thank you, nonetheless, for your words. Let me know how I can help you write again... it would be my pleasure.
Posted by: Julie Jordan Scott | May 17, 2009 at 10:25 PM
LIfe start when thoughts are aware that life is what it bears. The thoughts and ideas shape the actions deep within our hearts. So the heart is the factor of our life. We can do what we can't think.tart each day with good thoughts and good things will follow suite.
Posted by: Dwight B.Wilson | July 12, 2009 at 08:55 PM
Thank you, Dwight - we are like minds and hearts... so glad you let me know you were here!
Posted by: Julie Jordan Scott | July 13, 2009 at 10:12 AM