”In any one who dies there dies with him his first snow,
and kiss, and fight….Not people die but worlds die in them.”
It is loud outside my window. Maybe loud is too harsh. Noisy, voices, people talking boisterously. It is another Halloween.
I remember as a child this was one of my favorite holidays. I liked dressing up and going from house to house. I lived in a fairly small town in suburban Northern New Jersey
Northern New Jersey
On my last time trick-or-treating I was a gypsy and my mother let me go out alone, with my friend, Linda. I felt so grown up. It was 1973.
I remember the second Halloween after Marlena died. 1991. I sat in my dining room, waiting for trick-or-treaters. I was very pregnant with Katherine and feeling quite contemplative. I wrote some poetry, something I rarely did back then – about the holiday season stretching from Pumpkins to New Years.
I was noticing the bittersweet feelings in my belly that night.
I remember the Halloween I was shopping for a car and making phone calls as people were coming to my door. We bought my beloved Chevy Astrovan several days later. I was in heaven – finally a van. Recently I spotted an Astrovan on a used car lot.
I almost felt lustful towards it. I am missing my Explorer.
Halloween 1993: I was at University of the Pacific, my alma mater, for homecoming. It was Ken’s ten-year reunion, the only reunion I have attended to date. I had made these look-a-like sweatshirts for the four of us: Ken, Bianca, Katherine and myself. I wouldn’t be caught within miles of those sweatshirts anymore, but back then I put them on my family (and myself!) proudly.
I noticed today lots of people were walking around dressed up. I saw a Fred Flintstone, a Pocahontas, a lot of people who I couldn’t name but I knew they weren’t themselves. They were wearing masks and disguises.
I wonder how long people will be moving about outside.
I am tired. I have rehearsal later. I need to rest. Halloween 2006.