(photo courtesy of My Electric Sheep under a Creative Commons licensing agreement.)
Your Choice
On my writing porch
I smell the frozen pizza
heating up
I hear the train whistle
a mile away
surging along the
tracks and I think
about poetry
and word-love
reading Denise
Levertov knowing
my word combinations
are child's play
in comparison
"pomp advancing"
she writes,
"pursuing the
fallen sun" she
muses while
thoughtlessly
today, I drove
into the sunrise
proclaiming it
bland, typical, flat
less writable than
the lusty clouds
of yesterday
Denise would
have seen it
and wrote it with
so much more
panache
in frustration
I walk to the
kitchen, shoulders
bent forward, shoelaces
untied I elect
to be careful rather
than bend down
to tie them
the frozen pizza
isn't completely
thawed yet
so I return to
feeling miserable
in comparison to
(and leave it
at that, to either
frustrate the reader
or make her smile.)
Your choice
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great poem thanks and thanks for your comments on my blog
Posted by: kez | May 10, 2011 at 03:14 PM
comparison usual fails to inspire...we each are our own voice...as much as we each have our own perception....now is the pizza ready yet? smiles...and i love the train whistle...i grew up by tracks myself and miss them...
Posted by: brian | May 10, 2011 at 03:20 PM
very unique, very clever writing...fun to read...very true to life the way so many thoughts quickly slip through our mind while we're waiting for the cheese to melt into stringiness on a pizza which refuses to thaw fast enough, and writing a wonderful poem at the same time...very imaginative write...!!!
Posted by: janice kelly | May 10, 2011 at 03:45 PM
I'd prefer an existential account of frozen pizza and honest emotion to the overly adorned description of sunrise/sunset and cloud formations... which have been played countless times. Very well done. I don't mean the pizza :)
Posted by: Dustus | May 10, 2011 at 06:24 PM
very nice the decision on to tie your shoes was favorite...something about letting things go and accepting the day and just enjoying....bkm
Posted by: bmackenzie | May 11, 2011 at 10:43 AM
Julie, I so enjoy your "voice"--a kind of rambling, conversational tone that makes me feel like I'm there with you waiting for the pizza and thinking about poetry. I also live about a mile away from the train tracks!
Posted by: Victoria | May 11, 2011 at 12:42 PM
I like the comparison between the frozen pizza not quite cooked and the poetry that's not quite up to what you perceived to be. I think sometimes we all want more out of our writing, especially when we read others' works. But sometimes we have to have a bit of patience and just like when the pizza is done, the poetry will have the life and aroma we want.
Posted by: Vernon Wildy, Jr | May 11, 2011 at 12:58 PM
I can But smile at your beautiful poetry.. I am so glad you found me so I could find YOU!
So you have a writing porch! I'd love to share that pizza-eventually- with you
:-)
Posted by: Dulce | May 11, 2011 at 01:11 PM
Lovely poem! Thanks for visiting my blog. :)
Posted by: Rhyme Me a Smile | May 17, 2011 at 03:22 PM