« Duh Duh Duh Duh....Get Your Poem On #109 | Main | Where are the Real Women? (Response to Three Word Wednesday) »

January 19, 2010

Comments

Therese Broderick

I really like your strategy of transliteration: to begin your poem with a few words from the original poem, but then depart in a different direction. I really like how the word "mortal" in the original language above is repeated in English, "mortal," in the last line of your poem. I can certainly relate to the situation inspiring this poem. I say you don't have to ask forgiveness from readers. I think the computer-demon needs to ask forgiveness from you.

Julie Jordan Scott

Thank you, Therese. I borrowed a bit from Mozart, actually, in one of the arias from Don Giovanni where I had to sing the line, "Toca mi qua qua" over and over again... close enough to the same era, and if it doesn't make sense, I am sure Chiara would understand.

It was the funeral imagery I felt from her original words that got my words moving. I want to read her words translated into English next. I get the feeling I will enjoy coming to know her.

mark

This doesn't suck. Bear that in mind. Crabbiness clouds the judgment.

I like how you write about something real, personal and universal all at the same time...

Anthony North

You can be crabby anytime if you write like that. Enhjoyed it.

Cynthia Short

You ARE funny! How dare that thing you most cherish die on you, the bastard!
( I was surprised you didn't put in the word "fart" for the "farti"..as somethings sputter and fart while in their "death throws"! ha

Joseph Harker

Oh come now, this is excellent. You've taken the original and made it your own, adding humor and beauty into the funereal mix. The last couplet is downright astonishing. ^_^

Tumblewords

I'm looking for a little shawl of crabby to wrap me for a flash - long enough to move my mind toward a piece as fascinating as this!

pamela

Julie it is really a moving piece of work!
Very sensitive and beautiful. I hope you don't stay crabby too long though.

Pamela

barbara

Crabby looks good on you. This works just fine. (I love the touch me here, here, here)
I feel for you. My little iBook died just two days after I bought it a new jacket. But its mind was still sharp and its little soul transmigrated just fine.
May you upgrade in all the distractions of life.

karen

This is funny and clever and just well done! I'd take that, gladly!

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)

Most Recent Photos

  • Writing at John Ballantyne
  • Motivation to spare
  • Learn at home by mail
  • image from https://s3.amazonaws.com/feather-client-files-aviary-prod-us-east-1/2016-12-26/2eb3ec54-a9e1-4481-bea7-77edfad1365f.png
  • Julie Jordan Scott
  • Warehouse
  • Slanted light
  • Ventura writing
  • Aubergine turtleneck 2
  • Diner
  • Ventura writing
  • Black out poetry september 7