« Remember to Forget | Main | Poetry Mini-Challenge Day #2 - Crabby Julie Writes Pouty Senryu »

December 03, 2009

Comments

Anthony North

A stark image in this. It certainly seems fine to me.

mark

Well done, Julie.

David Moolten

I like the spare syllabics of this and short lines, which really go with the distress the narrator describes, and the claustrophobic and hurtful intimacy also described, so that she becomes like the fruit, sweet yet vulnerable and wounded.

Derrick

Hi Julie,

Strong images mixed with soft sweet ones that I liked despite the overall sadness.

wayne

nicely done Julie...ya I like the short lines also..."not normal"....hmmm now Im really on your side....and I dont feel alone...thanks for sharing again

Paul Oakley

I like the way you use the "mess" from eating a pomegranate casually as metaphor for the effect of human relationships. It is possible to eat a pomegranate without the mess, but it's not as much fun.

James

You're right about the need to sometimes just post and quit revising. Always hard to find that moment, though, isn't it?

I love "stuck it sticks stuck" and the way that causes me as the reader to feel a bit of that caught in the chest feeling. Very nice.

Linda Fraser

You had me at "garnet tears". Everyone has been using jeweled seeds, but garnet tears is really different. Some folklore suggests garnets having healing properties for depression which sheds a whole new light on "garnet tears". I like the short phrasing and the pervasive sadness you evoked with your words. Thank you for sharing, Julie!

irene

I see we've associated pomegranate with sweet sadness.

Cynthia Short

this was very fine...each bit like a punch as I read it aloud. The two points of view were an ingenious touch. Well done!

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