"I See It, A Shell!" said Precious Samuel (Get Your Poem On #105)

The title of this poem comes from a moment with Samuel this week, as we waited for the school bus to pick him up. The soil was damp and we were playing one of the silly games we play which made him ask me, “Mommy, are you a kid?”

 

Sam has the gift of noticing what other people miss.

 

He noticed a tiny snail shell – like a toddler snail – not the big, bulbous snail shell but the small, coil like triangular shell (not sure if I am describing this so you can see it in your mind’s eye.)

His noticing has stayed with me and became the foundation for this wordle poem which was prompted by my friends at ReadWritePoem.

 

 

 

 

The shell pulled

The neglected moon

Off her course

While the radar

Detected the wind

 

In the trees as it

Pierced the collective

Meteors monochromatic

Diatribe and pocked

Craters in her spirit

 

Flecks of darting flame

Hit precious moments

With their gold dust

“I see it, a shell”

said Precious Samuel

 

Abiding stars satisfied

By the curling back

Of the orbit

Slowly made a shrill

Telephone call

 

It took a lengthy moment

To connect

“To safer ground,” they

Commanded, “To safer

Ground.” Samuel heard

 

The words

Through the shell

And agreed, pulling

His Mommy along

With him.

 

Comments

[Anthony North]

You've captured the magic of a moment there.

[Julie Jordan Scott]

Thank you, Anthony.

I appreciate your comments, so generous each week.

[Joseph Harker]

Aww! This is really sweet... that must have been some shell. :) Perceiving things like that is a rare gift, I think it's wonderful that you cultivate it in him.

[Shannon]

I so enjoyed reading this. Your love of being a mother to your sweet boy is written all over it. Thank you for sharing with us!

[Derrick]

Hi Julie,

A serendipitous moment for you and Samuel! I like the third stanza in particular.

[Nicole Nicholson]

I like this. Your son is very perceptive, and the poem I think does a good job of capturing the moment of discovery. Good job.

-Nicole

[Tumblewords]

I love this piece - it reminds me of so many soft and pleasant thoughts with its far-reaching tone and it touching elements!

[David Moolten]

I really like how you build on the moment (using wonderfully delicate language and imagery) so that the discovery becomes a lens to look at your relationship with your son, and ultimately his relationship (and yours) with nature, and the cosmos.

[rallentanda]

I love the fantasy of this poem and yes Mom you are a kid! One of the lucky ones.

[karen]

This is wonderful! Great tribute to Samuel's seeing!

[mark Stratton]

What a lovely piece of life you captured here. Wonderfully done.

[irene]

A poem of seeing connecting with the cosmos and the mother with the child.

[Linda Fraser]

Samuel is so lucky to have you for his mommy! The connectedness is to everything, the fossils to the present, the universe to the seashell, the dangerous to the safety net and the mother to her son. Your expressions are soft and resounding. I love this poem. Thank you for sharing it, Julie.=d

[Percy Bisque Silley]

"Moonly?"

[Jeeves]

Sweet poem. From son to mother, lovely words

[Paul Oakley]

Child and mother in the cosmos, and a little child shall lead them. Effectively done. Very nice.

[Shari Smothers]

What an engaging poem. You effectively capture and translate the magic of seeing life through the eyes of a child.

...Samuel heard
The words
Through the shell
And agreed, pulling
His Mommy along
With him.

It's so great that you notice Samuel's noticing.

[Therese Broderick]

Very lovely! The ending pulls at my heart. I agree with all praise above. For me, the short "e" at the end of "Samuel" gathers in the similar sounds in the words "shell...neglect...detect...collect...precious" etc.

[Francis Scudellari]

This is a really magical feel to it. I like how you combined the words, and the real-life moment into such a compelling narrative.

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[video]

Thanks for the constructive feedback :) regarding the Overworld limitations and linearity, I only felt it limited in the sense that you aren't truely able to 'explore' fully in the way that could in other Zelda games - remember the underground caverns you could once find? - and quite frankly I miss that and it is basically linear in the sense that your destination is already chosen, yes you are still exploring and in a wonderful new way but this Overworld 'Transport' also highlights the limitations of what Nintendo can do with a 3D Zelda game on the DS but what they 'have' achieved is still impressive and I do acknowledge that fully.

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