Her Umbrella

Which part of this poem is Fact and which part is Fancy?

 

Part of the joy, I think, is in the unknowing. I haven't written any hints of erotic poetry in a long time. Now I want to explore more images. This photo, though, is a recent favorite.... a collaboration, naturally. I figure if you don't like the poem you may at least get some inspiration from the photo.

 

 

 Her Umbrella

 

Watch out or you will get drenched

When you finally notice your husband

Has been stolen by the most improbable

 

Unwench possible for when gazing at the

Perfection of you – dewrinkled though

Injection and expensive doctor visits

 

Instead he is being stroked by the perplexing

likes of.. can it be true?

You can close your umbrella now

 

Your clothes are ruined with your stench

Of unwillingness to take him inside

From your quest to control or quelch

 

Whatever bravado he held she served him

From her mouth, her lips to his and

His to mine they left you outside

 

Torrential downpours between them

Thunderclaps and slaps of want and

Tangled legs and arms and auburn

 

Tresses tangled in his strong fingers

Need met when she opened and welcomed

She pulled him inside her first layer

 

And into the second, secret lair

Above him she watched his pleasure

Arching up, consuming him

 

They turned and switched

And her heels surrounded

His waist, his back, she fell

 

Surrendered, gave herself

Over as you never would

Free from her mask she cried - -

 

We wept, we felt

We knew, we knelt

At each other’s altar

 

And now, in the later

You smirk as you hand me

Your umbrella

 

 

Comments

[rallentanda]

This is a great photo!Sorry I can't concentrate on the poem...my eyes are fixed to the photo!Everyone should have a photo like this in the family album.

[Paul Oakley]

...the most improbable
Unwench possible...

A wonderful turn of phrase! and raw!

I love the way it all comes down to the altar and that final smirk, in the later, and the handing of the umbrella...

Nicely achieved!

[Anthony North]

This is very powerful with some great lines. And yes, that photo is incredible.

[Neil Reid]

Breathtaking, how this poems rolls and soars and dives, by line and word, by meanings implied and not. What’s that old line, a story with “legs”? Well, this poem has wings! Bitter-and-sweet, would be one word, as here it becomes.

“She pulled him inside her first layer”, is a downpour of meaning here it seems to me, or at least that’s what imagination does. Seems quietly too, near to speak the whole poem inside seven words. Powerful wording throughout.

And the photograph Julie, irrepressible, is a perfect and brilliant companion here! Thank you for sharing all of this.

[Derrick]

Hi Julie,

Powerful indeed - and the poem's not bad either!! :0) Lots of depth and emotion.

[Cynthia Short]

What a very interesting idea for a poem and it was wonderfully executed. As the plastic doll watched, her love went to the real woman...powerful.

[gautami tripathy]

A great photo. And I liked the poem too. Too many layers and so much depth..

http://firmlyrooted.blogspot.com/2009/12/nature-copulates.html

[Linda Fraser]

I think your poem was way better than your photo, but I thought your photo was outstanding!

"Unwench possible for when gazing at the
Perfection of you – dewrinkled though
Injection and expensive doctor visits"

What a world we live in! =(

[Zouxzoux]

Wonderful!

"Torrential downpours between them

Thunderclaps and slaps of want and

Tangled legs and arms and auburn

Tresses tangled in his strong fingers

Need met when she opened and welcomed

She pulled him inside her first layer"

Those stanzas alone are a perfect poem. Now this poem is erotica to me! :)

[Wanda McCollar]

Powerful is a good word for your poem, indeed. There is a profundity of layers here, in your poem, in your photo, and in your website. Very cohesive, nicely done.

[davidmoolten.wordpress.com]

Great picture and poem. I like the mysterious intertwining of scenes and identity, and the banal counterpoint of the umbrella (against the flood of feelings), which sets up the great anticlimactic ending.

[mark]

yes...well....ahem...

What a breath of fresh air this is. And the photo is a nice touch.

Great poetic moments here....

[Tina Celio]

I'm intrigued by the address of one woman to another. The one revels, flouts, is vengeful on behalf of her lover, and the other is collapsed (forgive the pun) finally into the umbrella metaphor - a "lady's" object that suits the disdain for sex of the other woman.

[Erica Scime]

Very interesting subject matter. Also, I love how you have combined the raw, physical nature of sex with such strong emotion. Though, then again, they are inseparable, no? I love "We wept, we felt/ We knew, we knelt/ At each other’s altar" especially.

[irene]

hi Julie, that is a sexy photo. I like the layers in your poem.

[tamra at laughing dove]

I have visited this poem several times since Thursday. What a twist on the usual love poem!

[Therese L. Broderick]

I like the shift of the poem from the title "her umbrella" to the last line "your umbrella" -- a looping of the poem which is somewhat like the round dome of the umbrella. I also see several "um" or "un" sounds or spellings in the poem -- especially the unusual "unwench" and "husband" and "unwillingness." The "altar" and "arching up" too, somehow reverberate for me with "umbrella" -- maybe the images of curvature, of arch, like the wedding arches or gazebos couples get married under, which are supposed to endure through good and bad times, fair and foul weather.