This week’s ReadWritePoem.org prompt took me down a surprising path. Usually the photo prompts tug at me, drag me right into that exact image, but this time it was the words written by Dana Guthrie Martin, specifically the sum of Whee! + “Do you have memories of being at a crowded fair when you were a child” that took me back… to the Summer when I was five years old and visiting Southern California from
Whee?
I survived being held captive
By Pirates on a sweltering
July Day in
The feet marching along the
Frontierland Paths had no hint
Brown haired five-year-old captive
Below the happiest place on earth
So close by whose blue eyes would never again
Be able to enjoy dankness after her stint
In the very vivid Pirate Dungeon with
Shouts of “Yo Ho Yo Ho” echoing
In her future nightmares, death by
Pirate gunshot wound to the head, victim
Found floating in recycled water,
Considered unreal by amusement park
Revelers forever after
Is this a myth?
Is this real?
Did we really have a car accident
In our turquoise country squire
As we drove back to Granny’s
House in
When I reflect back on
five-year-old me, terrified
Deep underneath
stuck, invisible, below the surface
Pirates using my wide eyed
Fair skin for target practice
Unrelenting hour of eternity
I wonder how I ever got the
courage or gumption to go back
The dank smelling watery pit
everyone else seemed to be enjoying
Nothing short of a trip to purgatory
Everyone else oohing and ahhing and
I was sniffling and sobbing, grimacing
Gagging, face firmly planted in Mommy’s lap
I must have been an annoying appendage that day
An embarrassment in pink and white gingham
A hat that blew off my head on the tea cups
(Finally a ride that was attached to the ground)
Outdoors, with no one shooting at me
Unless you count my brother Jim’s
Unrelenting hour of nausea
I survived being held captive
By Pirates on a sweltering
July Day in

Great vivid images in this memory poem of an early trauma which helps us to sympathize with the child's viewpoint. I think Flannery O'Connor said that anyone who survives childhood has enough material to write for a lifetime. One of my favorite parts of your poem is the poignancy that your "blue eyes would never again / Be able to enjoy dankness." I like how you repeat lines at the very end -- after reading the entire poem, we come to those repeated lines with a deeper understanding of their meaning & truth.
Posted by: Therese Broderick | October 29, 2009 at 06:43 AM
Just last night I was commenting on how I don't "get" the joy some people get out of amusement parks. Give me a sunset, anytime. And I love that word, "dank"... a long time favorite... and that one ride has that particularly pungent aroma...
Thank you for commenting!
Posted by: Julie Jordan Scott | October 29, 2009 at 07:01 AM
Poor "Little Julie"! And sound like your poor parents had a terrible time of it!
This story was done very well, I kept wanting to find out what happened in "The Haunted House"!
Posted by: Cynthia Short | October 29, 2009 at 07:10 AM
Thanks for the dose of reality, Julie. I have no idea what the ratio is of carnival lovers and people who experience it as terror or discomfort, but our experience is real too and very much worth putting into poetry. (The roller coaster is the only ride that doesn't make me very sick - even now after half a century.)
I like the way your line lengths recall a roller coaster turned on its side.
Great ending:
I survived being held captive
By Pirates on a sweltering
July Day in Anaheim, 1967
Kind of like a T-shirt declaring: "I survived the hell of Disneyland!"
Posted by: Paul Oakley | October 29, 2009 at 07:26 AM
This was an excellent recollection. Yes, sometimes 'fun' can be terrifying for little ones.
Posted by: Anthony North | October 29, 2009 at 07:52 AM
I love the candidness and honesty of this one, a scary personal childhood tale that was brought alive in your poem!
Posted by: wildplumwhisper.wordpress.com | October 29, 2009 at 08:52 AM
Hi Julie,
I'm not sure whether Dana did you a favour, dredging up this memory! Some things haunt us always.
Posted by: Derrick | October 29, 2009 at 08:56 AM
Great job of getting back inside a five year old's eyes and thoughts, which grabs onto the true wildness of an "amusement" park.
Posted by: David Moolten | October 29, 2009 at 10:25 AM
Sometimes our imaginations are so vivid it is difficult to separate reality and fiction especially when the "ride concept" has the purpose of altering reality. Sometimes childhood and childhood experiences can become very overwhelming. Your poem is very expressive about the gray spaces between fear and fun, particularly in the imaginations of little people. Well written, Julie. Personally, I had nightmares about hearing the song, "it's a small world after all" one more time.
Posted by: Linda Fraser | October 29, 2009 at 02:06 PM
Sorry you had such a rotten day, Julie5, but I must say I enjoyed the retrospective. I have some memories like that: did____really happen, and all the rest, too? Where is reality and was my imagination that good?
I dearly love the future nightmares part.
Posted by: Barbara | October 29, 2009 at 02:42 PM
I like how these lines brought back the five year old,
An embarrassment in pink and white gingham
A hat that blew off my head on the tea cups
Posted by: irene | October 29, 2009 at 06:01 PM
I also like that moment that Irene expressed.These embarassing moments stay with us forever and your memory and expression of them is so good.
Posted by: rallentanda | October 29, 2009 at 07:01 PM
julie great to read your voice again after some time away. a fantastic recollection and description. your repetition of your opening stanza closing out the piece serves the entire body well. your mention of the tea cups and nausea a joy, as i get the overwhelming sick feeling just looking at the darn things, all the while children shout with glee. -lawrence
Posted by: lawrence gladeview | October 30, 2009 at 01:52 PM
going back in time can be scarry....but reall and all learning experiences...I enjoyed readin g your words...thanks for sharing this Julie..take care
Posted by: wayne | October 30, 2009 at 04:36 PM
When I was five I was terrified of the clowns that my mom had painted on my bedroom wall. I like the way your piece gets at our childhood terrors.
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Posted by: rJEvie | December 31, 2009 at 02:52 PM
I love poem. When I was in high school I used to write and read different poems everyday. Thank for sharing.
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