Whee? - - Get Your Poem On: ReadWritePoem.org #98

This week’s ReadWritePoem.org prompt took me down a surprising path. Usually the photo prompts tug at me, drag me right into that exact image, but this time it was the words written by Dana Guthrie Martin, specifically the sum of Whee! + “Do you have memories of being at a crowded fair when you were a child” that took me back… to the Summer when I was five years old and visiting Southern California from New Jersey. Once I started down that path, there was no turning back…. Today, I offer you…

 

Whee?

 

I survived being held captive

By Pirates on a sweltering

July Day in Anaheim, 1967

 

The feet marching along the

Frontierland Paths had no hint

Brown haired five-year-old captive

Below the happiest place on earth

 

So close by whose blue eyes would never again

Be able to enjoy dankness after her stint

In the very vivid Pirate Dungeon with

Shouts of “Yo Ho Yo Ho” echoing

 

In her future nightmares, death by

Pirate gunshot wound to the head, victim

Found floating in recycled water,

Considered unreal by amusement park

 

Revelers forever after

Is this a myth?

Is this real?

 

Did we really have a car accident

In our turquoise country squire

As we drove back to Granny’s

House in Pasadena?

 

When I reflect back on

five-year-old me, terrified

Deep underneath Disneyland

stuck, invisible, below the surface

 

Pirates using my wide eyed

Fair skin for target practice

Unrelenting hour of eternity

 

I wonder how I ever got the

courage or gumption to go back

The dank smelling watery pit

everyone else seemed to be enjoying

 

Nothing short of a trip to purgatory

Everyone else oohing and ahhing and

I was sniffling and sobbing, grimacing

Gagging, face firmly planted in Mommy’s lap

 

I must have been an annoying appendage that day

An embarrassment in pink and white gingham

A hat that blew off my head on the tea cups

 

(Finally a ride that was attached to the ground)

Outdoors, with no one shooting at me

Unless you count my brother Jim’s

Unrelenting hour of nausea

 

I survived being held captive

By Pirates on a sweltering

July Day in Anaheim, 1967

 

 

Comments

[Therese Broderick]

Great vivid images in this memory poem of an early trauma which helps us to sympathize with the child's viewpoint. I think Flannery O'Connor said that anyone who survives childhood has enough material to write for a lifetime. One of my favorite parts of your poem is the poignancy that your "blue eyes would never again / Be able to enjoy dankness." I like how you repeat lines at the very end -- after reading the entire poem, we come to those repeated lines with a deeper understanding of their meaning & truth.

[Julie Jordan Scott]

Just last night I was commenting on how I don't "get" the joy some people get out of amusement parks. Give me a sunset, anytime. And I love that word, "dank"... a long time favorite... and that one ride has that particularly pungent aroma...

Thank you for commenting!

[Cynthia Short]

Poor "Little Julie"! And sound like your poor parents had a terrible time of it!
This story was done very well, I kept wanting to find out what happened in "The Haunted House"!

[Paul Oakley]

Thanks for the dose of reality, Julie. I have no idea what the ratio is of carnival lovers and people who experience it as terror or discomfort, but our experience is real too and very much worth putting into poetry. (The roller coaster is the only ride that doesn't make me very sick - even now after half a century.)

I like the way your line lengths recall a roller coaster turned on its side.

Great ending:

I survived being held captive
By Pirates on a sweltering
July Day in Anaheim, 1967

Kind of like a T-shirt declaring: "I survived the hell of Disneyland!"

[Anthony North]

This was an excellent recollection. Yes, sometimes 'fun' can be terrifying for little ones.

[wildplumwhisper.wordpress.com]

I love the candidness and honesty of this one, a scary personal childhood tale that was brought alive in your poem!

[Derrick]

Hi Julie,

I'm not sure whether Dana did you a favour, dredging up this memory! Some things haunt us always.

[David Moolten]

Great job of getting back inside a five year old's eyes and thoughts, which grabs onto the true wildness of an "amusement" park.

[Linda Fraser]

Sometimes our imaginations are so vivid it is difficult to separate reality and fiction especially when the "ride concept" has the purpose of altering reality. Sometimes childhood and childhood experiences can become very overwhelming. Your poem is very expressive about the gray spaces between fear and fun, particularly in the imaginations of little people. Well written, Julie. Personally, I had nightmares about hearing the song, "it's a small world after all" one more time.

[Barbara]

Sorry you had such a rotten day, Julie5, but I must say I enjoyed the retrospective. I have some memories like that: did____really happen, and all the rest, too? Where is reality and was my imagination that good?
I dearly love the future nightmares part.

[irene]

I like how these lines brought back the five year old,

An embarrassment in pink and white gingham

A hat that blew off my head on the tea cups

[rallentanda]

I also like that moment that Irene expressed.These embarassing moments stay with us forever and your memory and expression of them is so good.

[lawrence gladeview]

julie great to read your voice again after some time away. a fantastic recollection and description. your repetition of your opening stanza closing out the piece serves the entire body well. your mention of the tea cups and nausea a joy, as i get the overwhelming sick feeling just looking at the darn things, all the while children shout with glee. -lawrence

[wayne]

going back in time can be scarry....but reall and all learning experiences...I enjoyed readin g your words...thanks for sharing this Julie..take care

[tamra at laughingdove]

When I was five I was terrified of the clowns that my mom had painted on my bedroom wall. I like the way your piece gets at our childhood terrors.

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[temporary health insurance]

I love poem. When I was in high school I used to write and read different poems everyday. Thank for sharing.

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I enjoyed reading and reading poems. It's one of my adventures in life. thanks for the share. Nice page indeed.